Having children is scary, I mean worse than any scary movie you can watch scary. Its a different level of scary, not like you have a nightmare and the world is ok when you wake up scary. I mean scary because it makes your mind think of off the wall things that can happen and how to prevent them.
As I sit here trying not to panic with my six year old who has a deep cough, and a runny nose. Something normal right? Except when you factor in asthma and a possible allergic reaction to the cough medicine I gave her. Her and any medicine thats “natural” never seem to work. I am scared as I watch her chest rise and fall, as every deep cough and snot shoots out her nose. I am scared because I want to make her feel better with the snap of my fingers.
Having four girls is a nightmare, and not for the reasons you may think. I want to protect my girls with every inch of my soul. I never want them to experience any of the heartache and pain that I ever felt. I want to put them in a bubble and hope nothing every pops it.
I want them to have the lives we see on movies, where by the end of the scene all of their problems are solved. The “simple” worries. Its harder now than when they were babies because now, besides my six year old, I have two teenagers and a pre-teen. With those ages comes crushes, heartbreak, and the reality of true disappointment.
Now I have always been real with my girls and never made them believe that life was about rainbows, butterflies and cupcakes. I have told them about being aware of their surroundings and to not trust every smiling face. I told them that stranger danger is real and that monsters look like regular people.
So yeah, being a parent is scary. You have to raise these little people who completely depend on you and make sure they are tough, but compassionate; Smart but with an edge; Honest, fair and safe. You have to protect them from everything without smothering and sheltering them. Its an equal balance that no one ever gave you a manual for. There is no how to do books because every kid is different. What may work for one, may not for the next and DNA has nothing to do with that.
Now to go back and cuddle with my little one as she sleeps soundly. I know I won’t sleep because I will be listening to every cough and jumping with every movement. Being a parent may be scary, but I couldn’t imagine life any other way.