Tag Archives: family

My Kids are Afraid to go to School

We Need To Protect Our Children, It Wont Change Your Rights

After the mass shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School, there have been several more shootings or threats of shootings, including a shooting by a teacher that the politicians are pushing to arm.

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Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash

“Its getting closer and closer Mommy.” My 14 year old comes home and talks to me daily about her anxiety and fear of something happening. I told her today that she will be fine and nothing will happen to her, and then I paused. How can I say that? I’m sure those kids who went to school felt safe and never afraid of anything except the normal teenage things, like a test or a crush.

Then it was their school…

sometime around midnight a few weeks ago there was a post circulating, that the school my kids attend was to be shot up the following day. There were factors that I thought about as I read it, it only said RHS. How many RHS’ were there in the world? Several I am sure, but this said Rison kids be careful.

My daughter was in tears and begging for me not to let them go the next day. I pictured all the things that could’ve gone wrong. I imagined how many parents wish they would’ve listened to their kids begging them to stay home, how many warnings that were not taken seriously. So I decided they wouldn’t go. I called the police who offered no information, because the officer “just got on and had no information” (a simple hold on, let me find out would’ve sufficed, and his huff like I was annoying him as he hung up was heard as well…. I understand the police get a lot of calls but have patience).

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Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

The principal posted a FB message around midnight, that I didn’t see until the next day that said it was for another state, I believe Ohio. Like that was supposed to calm us down and make us send our kids to school. My kids decided to go at 1 p.m. I wasn’t the only one who decided to keep their kids home, as many assignments and tests were rescheduled because half the school was out. I have to admit, I expected there to be police officers on campus to protect the kids and staff that did show up, just in case, there was not one. The girls said there wasn’t any though out the rest of the day either.

To say I was a mess for those four hours, would be an understatement. I couldn’t sit still and none of my conversations made much sense. I was stressed and I was scared. I kept my phone close because I told my kids that for today put their phones on silent instead of off. I told them to pay attention to their surroundings, where to hide and to not run. That if a shooter was to show up to the school be still until the police releases them.

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Photo by D x L on Unsplash

The school should’ve had a conversation or assembly discussing the fear and what to do in case, but once again, just like when the child who committed suicide, it was swept under the rug. My daughter has a full plan in place, and knows which classes have locks and are safe. My daughter shouldn’t have had to make this plan for herself, we as parents, those of us in congress and us as voters need to stop letting the NRA run and pay for the discussion on gun control to be quieted. h

To make matters worse, instead of talking about what to do, legislators are too busy talking down on teenagers who speak up for themselves, or blame the victims and say that they were the blame in some form or fashion. Bullying is a problem, but that doesn’t give anyone a reason to shoot and kill several people, besides with this kid, it wasn’t the case.

So what do we do? Its hard enough as a parent of teenagers of color, with the threat of police brutality, and racial profiling, but now we have to deal with the fact that any kid can get and own a gun. Lets not even begin to discuss the fact that they want to arm the teachers. Teachers who have way too many titles, already stressed out and get far too less pay.

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Photo by xandtor on Unsplash

There has got to be a better way, the NRA won’t allow people to have to give away their guns, but we need a compromise. War guns have no reason on the streets or accessible to civilians. An AR-15 should be for military use only. But its not only that,  its the availability to guns. Over half the kids our school district have guns and are proud of them, but shouldn’t they have a license? To drive a car you have to have a permit and take a test to get a license. Why can’t the same be done for guns.

You shouldn’t be able to go in a store and pick up a gun like a gallon of milk. There needs to be stricter regulations, because the guns are now in our schools. They are coming after our children. Something needs to be done. We need to change the conversation or vote the ones who don’t want to out.

 

Featured image: Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash

Its Review Day!!!!

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So I have to be honest that I wasn’t really ready for a review today, I didn’t think I had any content to give you all, BUT I was WRONG!!!

Can you believe it? I was wrong, and I’m owning up to it. SO I have done reviews on tv shows, movies, books, and apps. Today I am reviewing several things at once.

First: A product

Rosewater!!!! OMG!!!! SO I have heard so much about Rosewater and the beautiful Screenshot 2018-01-18 13.56.15things that it does, and I was always ignoring it, until my besties (sisters), told me about using rosewater to hydrate my hair. I was like a woman on her cycle searching for chocolate in the aisles of Whole Foods. I was told there was a liter bottle there, but of course not in my area. I settled for a 3.4 ounce bottle for $1,000 (not really but thats how it felt). So the brand I purchased was Alteya Organics 100% Bulgarian Rose Water. I sprayed a bit on my face and felt like the ugly spots melted off. It was legit, refreshing.

So on my hair, I poured half the bottle in a spray bottle, added some dollar store pure Argan Oil, Coconut Oil and Shea Butter Oil. My daughter sprayed in in my hair and it was like the detangles ran from the concoction!!! My hair is legit bouncy with its curls. It feels light. I want to just go for a run, but uh…. the ice said no!

Second: A TV Show

Grown-ish!!! If you’re not watching Grown-ish, the spin off of Blackish, then what are you doing? Grownish follows the oldest daughter Zoey to college. You know like A Different World was off The Cosby Show! To me, its better. It immediately shows the mess ups you can do in the beginning and tells you how to make it through. It shows all types of people starting over at a night class that she’s in, and it shows how different people come together. Its not like high school, which I love.

Screenshot 2018-01-18 13.55.31I also love how it has a variety cultures in its casts. This show is legit and I am so proud of Yara Shahidi for putting out the real things that college kids deal with, from drugs, peer pressure, the internet bullying, and an ego. All things that college kids in this era deal with.

So if you haven’t checked it out yet, run to Hulu.com and get caught up, and catch new episodes on Freeform Wednesday!

 

 

Third… I have no third. But check me out next week. I have a book that will be number one of 100 for the year, that I am sooo excited about reading! Love You All!!!!!

More Than A Review… This is Real Life!!

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Honeytrap…

So its Thursday night (last week), and I have a broke down car and I decided to Netflix and chill by myself. So I usually watch a couple of shows, but I decided to try a movie I hadn’t seen before. Why did I pick this movie?

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I tell you why, because Jessica Sula’s cute face made me think this was going to be interesting. I loved her on Recovery Road, so I was interested to see something else with her in it. Interesting is not what I got. Instead I am left with my mind spinning on where I can begin to stop this from happening.

In case you all have never seen the movie, it came out in 2014 in the United Kingdom, its about a black teen named Layla who recently moved to London from Trinidad. Her mother left her with her grandparents, who were very touchy, to say the least. This girl comes to a mother, who you can tell knows nothing about being a mother. She doesn’t get her in school in time so she is shuffled to this school with metal detectors and babysitters in place of teachers.

She was destined to be with “gangstas”…  it was almost as if her mother left her to handle life on her own. She was able to be free and go where she pleased. She ran into Troy when a few fake friends used her to get into a video shoot. She was pretty, and they were a bit ghetto. You could tell she was pure, which led Troy straight to her. Her “relationship” with him and her so-called friends went down hill from that. She was jumped, abused and eventually left in the hospital after throwing herself in front of traffic.

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This movie was written because of true events, and even if that wasn’t written out, there are many situations like this everywhere. Young girls are having babies and have no idea what to tell their teenage children or teach them the right way. Many parents (and not just single ones) are so busy living their lives that they don’t think about what their children are going through.

It took a murder and police knocking at her door for Layla’ mother to realize this. Why? Why do we not see the signs of distress in our children? Children are committing murder, getting raped, stealing and being sent away because we aren’t watching. We aren’t paying attention. Social media makes it hard on parents, is one of the lamest excuses I have ever heard.

See social media and cellphones only become a problem when you let you children believe they have privacy. See me, I am all in my kids business. I know passwords and I will snatch a phone at the drop of a dime to go through it. We have to stay active parents, yes I know we all need a break here and there, but teenage years are the worst times to take breaks.

I have two teenage daughters and a preteen all under the same roof with a 1st grader. We make it work. They have their lives, but I am very BIG part of it. I know their friends and their friends know me. I am deemed as the cool parent, only because of my relationship with my girls.

See I am honest with my girls, I tell them the stuff that most parents sugar coat. I figure, why sugar coat? Being an adult isn’t sugar coated and its my responsibility to make them ready for the real world.

To get back to Honeytrap, this movies saddens me, because since its a black movie, half of America won’t watch, but the reality is, this happens everyday to girls of all race. Any young girl that is not confident in who she is has these predator boys lurking and plotting their move. We have to protect our daughters, AND we need to teach our sons and nephews how to treat and respect women.

If you feel you have a child going through any of this and you do not know what to do, there are resources and steps to take. Adolescents centers are not just for mental health issues, they are also for behavioral issues. And behavioral issues are anything that can lead to the destruction of themselves. Call your local hospital or outpatient therapy clinic for children. Depending on the assessment they can either go inpatient or outpatient. Stand up for your children, because if we don’t, how will they know how to for themselves.

We Love You Uncle Jack!

Andrew Jackson Frost – Rest In Love

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I know I usually reserve Thursdays for reviews, but death has knocked on my families door and took a big piece of my heart and I want to tell you all about him. He deserves a celebrity style memorial and article, because he was more than a celebrity to me.

I didn’t have a lot of positive male role models in my life growing up, nor did I have a lot of positive pictures of marriage and true love. Matter fact, I can only think of one pair, that hasn’t been destroyed. My Aunt Vern and Uncle Jack, married for 68 years, they’ve never spent a day apart minus his times in the war.

I don’t know much about their lives before us grandkids, all I have is my memories of him and stories that I have been told, but I don’t want to give you their stories, I want to give you mine. I remember as a kid, my Mom, and Aunts would send all the grandkids to Arkansas. My Grandma was still working at the time so my brother and I would go to their house during the day. They owned a local laundry mat, and my uncle was good at his hands, he did everything. I remember all the times he would come in with his work jumpsuit, you know the old mechanic one piece with the buttons down the front. He would be full of oil, from cars he worked on, or machines that broke down. A jack of all trades.

His sense of humor was amazing. I never seen my uncle shed a tear or frown. He had this deep down in the belly laugh that filled your soul with smiles. He loved us, I mean really loved us. I haven’t seen him in the last I think 10/15 years, but we had lots of telephone conversations. He, unfortunately, never met my girls face to face, but he spoke to them on the phone constantly, especially when my Grandma was there visiting. He loved my kids just as much as he loved us grandkids. The spark on his face when in pictures with his great-grandbabies. Family was everything to him.

My Aunt is the tough aunt, you know the one that would tell you about yourself and then make you a hot meal, the one that didn’t care who you are she will tell you about yourself. She didn’t always smile hard, but when my Uncle would come home she would. He was the only person I ever saw who could calm her down. 68 years is a long time to be with someone, to have them taken away from you.

Tuesday, my Uncle passed away, he was 94 years old. This ripped holes in my soul. I cried until I think my eye sockets were dry. He was sick, and that morning, I received a text warning that things were bad, but I expected him to pull through. He always did. I know crying won’t bring him back, but it hurts all the same. As I sit here typing this out, my eye sockets hurt, I just wish I could see his smile one more time, here his laugh. I can’t imaging what my Aunts are going through, or my cousins.

He was one of my few role models on how a man was supposed to be. I may not be able to see him put to rest, but he will forever be in my heart. I love you Uncle Jack, until we meet again.