Category Archives: unrequited love

Cute With Bad Qualities

Cute With Bad Qualities – An Understatement

Screenshot 2018-07-21 14.27.35I don’t know how many times I tell people with children to stop coddling them. Introduce them to the real world and tell them how shit really is. If you put your children in a bubble, when they go to college, they wild out. This movie here is a straight up proof of how it normally goes, because its not always black and white, its grey areas in between.

Her mother waited until she was an adult, and heading to college before taking to her. Something that should NOT be a last minute conversation. This is something we should talk to our daughters now in elementary school, to build them up as women and let them know that everything that glitters ain’t gold.

Screenshot 2018-07-21 14.28.09Cute with Bad Qualities – I thought in the beginning was a horrible title, but I get it, Donovan was the “cute” one, and his qualities were horrible. Her being a “caged child”, she was easily open to the first guy that gave her attention. Her friends had a bet on how long she would be cool until she wilded out. It clearly didn’t take long.

This girl made a 32 on her SATs (not an accurate score, thats more an ACT score, but I’ll leave that flaw in the script alone… No I didn’t). Although she stayed in her books, but she became all about this man. She didn’t follow up on his story he told about Sheena, which lead to Sheen being shady to her, not her fault and continue to sleep with him behind her back.

The tagline “If he shows you who is he, believe him.” Was perfect, because as a woman, this was something that was always told to me. As a mother of teenage girls, I let them have boyfriends, explain to them the horrors of sex and people who don’t mean you any good. I also tell them the importance of looking at every angle and being true to themselves. Never letting someone dictate their lives or tell them what they can and cannot do.

Screenshot 2018-07-21 14.27.08This man disrespected her mother when he first met her, telling her excuse me, but me and Mya are grown, when she told him to take her straight home. And instead of taking her back to her dorms, like her mother asked, he took her back to his place where there was a bra in his bed, which he hid. They didn’t have sex that night, he played the role of the gentlemen, sleeping on the floor.

Screenshot 2018-07-21 14.28.58In the beginning, Mya, played by Samantha Smith, was a quiet girl who was a freshman in college. She was a private school girl who was raised in a strict religious home. She saw this boy and literally ran into Sheena, who invited her to a party that Donovan, Tasmin Williams, was supposed to be in attendance.

She showed him in the beginning that he could run her, because he told her to call Sheena back when she called to check on her. He told her not to be friends with certain people and she was all about listening to him. It was like she had no mind of her own and let him check her. Which, he took every moment to brag about to his friends.

When her best friend came in town, he was all about getting to know her friend on a deeper level calling her friend fine and flirting across the table. He kept looking her friend up and down. Her friend saw him for who he was, someone sneaky.

When he was injured, she told him to get seen and he blamed her for not getting medically cleared. Then when he found out he had DBT and couldn’t play he went off on her blaming her for him not being able to play. He broke up with her.

Unlike other stories, Mya and Donovan got married but not because he loved her, from the beginning he was telling his friends that she was a gold mine. He made this big marriage proposal after leaving her for a month. A virgin and a woman who will make money, but he quickly tried to make her his woman who did what he said.  This is not a love story, not a story of romance, its a story of being entrapped, feeling like you have to hold on because he’s your husband.

Screenshot 2018-07-21 14.28.26When her husband told her she was getting fat, she went to the doctors office and found out she was pregnant. He told her she should go and get an abortion. Something he knew she would not do, because she is very religious. In the next several scenes, you can see him celebrating graduation and hanging with friends while she goes to doctors visits and has the baby. He refused to even help out with the baby at night.

He starts spending time with Sheena on the side, and hanging out without his wife at certain events. Sheena recorded their conversation on the voicemail to their house. To him it was never about making her happy or even comfortable in their marriage, when she brought up him cheating, he just went to bed. Didn’t even try to explain, because he knew she wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything. She being still in school and having a baby. What could she do?

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Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

It took for her to realize that she married who she picked and not who she was supposed to marry. It took for her to stand up for herself and realize that she was fighting for a marriage on her own. We have to understand what love looks like, we are responsible for our children knowing that so that they don’t repeat the mistakes we have made in our lives.

 

Ask Me Anything

A girl straight out of high school, who doesn’t know what she wants to do in life, takes a year to be her, to figure life out. Sounds like a normal story that would be absolutely boring and bland, yet here I sit staring at a tv screen eyes full of tears.

Screenshot 2018-04-13 02.09.04This is not how something is supposed to end. I have so many questions. I watched the show initially because I kept seeing it come up on my suggested videos, and Britt Robertson who plays on For The People and Girl Boss is the main character. I’m a fan and now, an even bigger one.

Britt makes you fall in love for Katie’s character. She makes you feel sorry for her and connect with her. You can see yourself as her. 28 years ago I was her, except I didn’t take a year, I went to college and screwed it up. But its not the story that has me in tears.

Screenshot 2018-04-13 02.02.55Katie during the movie has several jobs, an overbearing mother with a boyfriend who is super nosey. She has a father who is an alcoholic and she is a cheater. Unbeknownst to her parents she is having sex and lot of it, and on top of that she has a blog where she tells every detail but changes names and details. She ends up with an amazing following, 14,000 visits and messages from people who have no idea who she is.

I didn’t judge her, no part of her life did I judge because at one point in my life, I was her. Partying and sleeping with people with no commitment, or false promises of one. I also dated a man who I later found out was married. So I didn’t judge her, I felt like I was her. In my previous life, I was Katie.

Screenshot 2018-04-13 02.09.25She had no real friends, no one who really had her back. Her birthday came around and no one was there for her to celebrate with. Her therapist was clearly not listening to her, this girl had a problem with sex. A problem with sex that stemmed from the abuse she endured as a child. But the therapist, that she only saw twice, said she wasn’t clinically depressed. Let me just say as someone who sees a therapist regularly, I wanted to slap her.

But its the surprise ending. I write surprise endings, I make you think outside the box and this – this is the emotion I want from people when they read my novels, when they see my movies.

Screenshot 2018-04-13 02.16.00I sit here, afraid to go to sleep because what kind of dream do you have after a movie like that, after the blog I wrote, after the list of things I have heard today? I am stuck. Stuck in that I need to go to bed because its 2 am and stuck between I need to watch something else to clear my mind.

See I originally chose the movie because I thought I could write while the movie was playing or I would get tired and fall asleep, but I watched every moment. My keyboard was still clicking, but nothing creative. It was all matter of fact, all – I am lost.

I won’t ruin the movie for you but watch it. The director Allison Burnett did an amazing job and I believe I feel exactly how they projected.

This trailer does nothing for the movie, its much darker, and not as shallow as this shows.

More Than A Review… This is Real Life!!

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Honeytrap…

So its Thursday night (last week), and I have a broke down car and I decided to Netflix and chill by myself. So I usually watch a couple of shows, but I decided to try a movie I hadn’t seen before. Why did I pick this movie?

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I tell you why, because Jessica Sula’s cute face made me think this was going to be interesting. I loved her on Recovery Road, so I was interested to see something else with her in it. Interesting is not what I got. Instead I am left with my mind spinning on where I can begin to stop this from happening.

In case you all have never seen the movie, it came out in 2014 in the United Kingdom, its about a black teen named Layla who recently moved to London from Trinidad. Her mother left her with her grandparents, who were very touchy, to say the least. This girl comes to a mother, who you can tell knows nothing about being a mother. She doesn’t get her in school in time so she is shuffled to this school with metal detectors and babysitters in place of teachers.

She was destined to be with “gangstas”…  it was almost as if her mother left her to handle life on her own. She was able to be free and go where she pleased. She ran into Troy when a few fake friends used her to get into a video shoot. She was pretty, and they were a bit ghetto. You could tell she was pure, which led Troy straight to her. Her “relationship” with him and her so-called friends went down hill from that. She was jumped, abused and eventually left in the hospital after throwing herself in front of traffic.

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This movie was written because of true events, and even if that wasn’t written out, there are many situations like this everywhere. Young girls are having babies and have no idea what to tell their teenage children or teach them the right way. Many parents (and not just single ones) are so busy living their lives that they don’t think about what their children are going through.

It took a murder and police knocking at her door for Layla’ mother to realize this. Why? Why do we not see the signs of distress in our children? Children are committing murder, getting raped, stealing and being sent away because we aren’t watching. We aren’t paying attention. Social media makes it hard on parents, is one of the lamest excuses I have ever heard.

See social media and cellphones only become a problem when you let you children believe they have privacy. See me, I am all in my kids business. I know passwords and I will snatch a phone at the drop of a dime to go through it. We have to stay active parents, yes I know we all need a break here and there, but teenage years are the worst times to take breaks.

I have two teenage daughters and a preteen all under the same roof with a 1st grader. We make it work. They have their lives, but I am very BIG part of it. I know their friends and their friends know me. I am deemed as the cool parent, only because of my relationship with my girls.

See I am honest with my girls, I tell them the stuff that most parents sugar coat. I figure, why sugar coat? Being an adult isn’t sugar coated and its my responsibility to make them ready for the real world.

To get back to Honeytrap, this movies saddens me, because since its a black movie, half of America won’t watch, but the reality is, this happens everyday to girls of all race. Any young girl that is not confident in who she is has these predator boys lurking and plotting their move. We have to protect our daughters, AND we need to teach our sons and nephews how to treat and respect women.

If you feel you have a child going through any of this and you do not know what to do, there are resources and steps to take. Adolescents centers are not just for mental health issues, they are also for behavioral issues. And behavioral issues are anything that can lead to the destruction of themselves. Call your local hospital or outpatient therapy clinic for children. Depending on the assessment they can either go inpatient or outpatient. Stand up for your children, because if we don’t, how will they know how to for themselves.

Unrequited Love

That amazing feeling you have when your every thought is of that one person. You catch yourself smiling for no reason about them. They can touch you and your whole body turns to mush. You tingle from a simple gesture. You’re in love. Not the puppy love where you are drawing hearts and doodling their name and yours together, but in love where you pray for them before you pray for yourself, the type of love where you want to give yourself up completely to them.
And then the unthinkable happens; you realize the love is not returned. You are putting your time and emotion into someone who does not feel the same about you. Maybe you were the rebound, maybe they NEVER really put their heart into it, or maybe you fell to quick. Whatever it is, you realize that you are the only one who thinks this is a good thing.
What do you do? So many people are so quick to judge and say you should move on, but what if you have really invested your time and feelings into this person? Shouldn’t you try to fight for something that feels right to you? Shouldn’t you try to find out why this person doesn’t see in you what you see in them? Why should you just walk away?
SO YOU DON’T GET HURT! So many are willing to put the

ir feelings aside for someone else. Don’t try to be everything for this person, because if they don’t see it, they never will, and in the end you will be mad at them for wasting your time, when really you can’t be mad at anyone but yourself.

The person that is right for you will not make you feel like that. You will know that they feel the same way without any hesitation, without any doubt.
Now how do you move on? These have always been my ways of moving on. They work for me, and I hope they work for you.
1. Stay away from them. Any contact with them will make you weak and fall back for the very things that make you fall for them. Trust me they are not worth your time.
2. Stay away from sad love songs. Play songs that talk about self-strength and moving on or self-love, nothing that reminds you of him/her.
3. Do not drink alone. If you do drink, drink with someone that will take your phone and keep you away from “drunk texting”.
 
4. Cry. Let out the emotions you feel so you can release them and move on.

Last but not least…

5. take the time to heal. Do not start talking to someone new until you have completely closed this door. Or you will do to the next what this one just did to you.
Love Yal… lovetichelle