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My Legacy

Do something great!

I always think about the things that are important to me and the many messages I would love to relay to people and the top of my list that I consider is my legacy. We never think about the things we want to leave in a world that has lately become so filled with greed and monsters.

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Photo by Eloise Ambursley on Unsplash

Me I want to leave a legacy that remains on my daughters heart. I want to be the reminder that constant work and never giving up gets you somewhere. That following your dreams doesn’t have to be hard, and not to sweat the small stuff because there will always be another way.

I believe in being powerful and having the world at your fingertips. I believe that there is nothing in this world that makes me better or worse than anyone else. I have sympathy for those in pain and no malice in my heart who desire to heart others.

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Photo by Kristina V on Unsplash

I feel like equality shouldn’t be an issue. Why does skin color, who we love, what trends we follow, where we shop, what church/religion we belong to make anyone better than another? We are all living breathing creatures of planet Earth who need to realize that true respect is given not forced or taken. We all deserve the same respect as any other person on this planet. Who decided what was normal and accepting anyways? I bet they had some secrets.

 

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Photo by Adam Wilson on Unsplash

Its like the wealthy and the privileged turn around and rape our land daily. This planet is not ours, we live on it and should take of it like our bodies. But no we fill a world saying that toxic combinations is medicine and you should give your life to have them, yet say natural items that are derived from this earth can kill you. Can lead you to other things that are habit forming.

I for the life of me still cannot understand how marijuana is illegal and people are spending years in prison for it, but you can go to a store and buy poison to line your belly called alcohol and cause more damage.

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

My legacy is not what I want people to remember me by but hopefully the people I can get to open their eyes and change the narrative, change the conversation and create a life that will be healthier for my great grandchildren. I want to be known as someone who fought her life for others, even if its only through my words and art.

My legacy is my four beautiful daughters who I hope will push the same agenda.

~Love you guys!

Featured photo credit: Photo by Church of the King on Unsplash

Happy New Year!!!!

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Ok, I’m like 15 days late, but better late than never right. I can’t believe its 2018! It seemed like just yesterday we were bringing in 2017. This year has been full of ups and downs for my family and I but we survived and brought the New Year in with a new set of challenges.

Oh but we are super ready for it!

I plan on this year getting back to my voice. I have been writing for others as a content writer and forgetting to put my words into the world, as well as my opinion. I have made a goal of reading/listening to 100 books on Goodreads. (Follow me on there and hold me accountable and watch my progress.) Also suggest books for me to read. I love reading and will more then likely review new writers to me and some new to the industry as well. Every Thursday, there will be a review of some sort as before.

Also I am an activist, so once a week, and only once a week, I will talk about something political or give my support or non support to a cause, with my reasonings.

More content, more reading, more of me!!!! There are also some amazing things coming that I cannot wait to tell you about, but patience is a virtue, one that I don’t really have, but one that I hope that you all do. I will also talk more about me and the things that hold me back, my issues, illnesses and struggles, because so many bloggers either only talk about their issues or act like they don’t have any, and let me tell you, I have many.

So sit back, watch your notifications and go on the journey of 2018 with me.

Love you guys!!!!

A Victim to a Different Type of Assault.

Revoking the Federal Directive On Campus Rape is like Saying Fuck you to all Survivors and Future Victims.

Imagine being a college student living on campus. You pull an all nighter studying in the library for a huge exam and paper that you have to write. When you leave its dark Screenshot 2017-09-24 20.08.09outside, but the way to your dorm is lit and there isn’t that long of a walk. You pass a few people on the way to your dorms but most of the campus is quiet and empty. As you see your dorm come into view you are pulled to the ground, mouth covered and raped. You happen to get a glimpse of the guy who assaults you and notice he’s the head of the football team. Do you report it?

Many girls that experience this say no, because of the backlash that comes from being a woman who accuses a man of violating her. All of a sudden she is defending her entire life choices, like the men she’s slept with, the parties she attended and every picture she’s ever taken. The rumors she didn’t even know were circulating are now national news. Her life is now ruined.

This is some of the things outlined in rape culture, including victim blaming and shaming. President Obama put in a standard to colleges and universities to give a guidance to make schools properly investigate assault accusations and punish accused students. Secretary Devos has reversed this guidance saying that it didn’t properly protect those accused. 

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Devos was talked to by several rape survivors and ignored them as she weakened protections for them. More than likely this will make victims once again afraid to speak up against assault and result in many more women once again being assaulted and predators to walk around again as before.

The guidance that the Obama administration was several steps that a school was supposed to take when a student reported an attack, this also included how long the investigation should last and how to handle evidence. Devos has decided that there has to be clear and convincing evidence as if every rape is going to have a video, or a bit of sperm left in a scar tissue.

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Sexual assault is not one size fits all and many predators know how to make sure there isn’t clear and convincing evidence, also they know who to target. Its not always a girl with a squeaky background. Most predators are opportunist and will use a drunk girl at a party or a girl walking alone to attack.

Devos failed to protect our daughters at college, and as a parent I am disappointed. We have to start teaching our daughters to stand up to any situation and teach our sons how to treat women. Perhaps tell our girls the truth and tell them to always have someone to walk with, especially after dark, but be prepared in the daylight as well.

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How many more things will the current administration reverse? I mean we get the point.

Breaking My Silence…

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Over the last month, I have been silent – not in real life, but virtually silent. I stopped writing because I felt like my writing was just because, it had no real meaning and no real purpose behind it. So I stopped and starting thinking about my next moves. During the last few months, I began watching a new sitcom…

THE BOLD TYPE

This show has made me think in more ways than ever because of course I am a mixture of Jane Sloan (Katie Stevens) and Kat Edison (Aisha Dee), because not only am I a writer who is FINALLY following her passion, I am also following my heart as well.

But this show envelops so many more emotions. It hits on the women topics that are often ignored or pushed to the side for matters that other people think are more important. I have always stood up for so many things in my life from racism, homophobia, and sexism. I always felt that I had to pick an issue, because together they don’t make sense.

But why?

Society makes you feel that if you are a black woman that you cannot attend the Women Marches, because you have to remember that you are a black person first. If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, you have to only stick with the “black” pride events because once again, you are black first. But as a black woman, when you march, you are told to hold down your black men first.

I say bullshit! In life we all want the same thing and that is to live our daily lives and be just as happy and feel just as safe as a straight white man. I’m not saying we hate him, or belittle him or down talk anyone, I am saying that why can we not all stand along side of each other. Screenshot 2017-09-06 22.18.15

 

Fighting a fight of whose fight is more important is getting us no where. While we are all fighting 45 is making and changing rules impacting all of our lives except those we are fighting to stand beside each other. We should ALL fight TOGETHER! 

 

 

Can you imagine the impact if every woman, every black, white, brown and in-between, every LGBTQ, every PERSON stood together and fought for us all to be equal? What if we all stood up and told the establishment that WE ALL MATTER?! I believe we would get so much further, but in my mind this works.

Then I think of all the fighting that we all do within our communities. The media always plays on black on black crime but there is women hating and talking down on each other, gay bashing from within, and jealousy always peeping up in any situation. We have to learn how to love ourselves before we can confront someone else about not loving us.

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I know I went deep but The Bold Type does that and the episode I watched tonight, “Carry The Weight” made me remember to carry mine and stand up for what I believe in,     ALL OF IT!

Love you, cause I do!

More Than A Review… This is Real Life!!

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Honeytrap…

So its Thursday night (last week), and I have a broke down car and I decided to Netflix and chill by myself. So I usually watch a couple of shows, but I decided to try a movie I hadn’t seen before. Why did I pick this movie?

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I tell you why, because Jessica Sula’s cute face made me think this was going to be interesting. I loved her on Recovery Road, so I was interested to see something else with her in it. Interesting is not what I got. Instead I am left with my mind spinning on where I can begin to stop this from happening.

In case you all have never seen the movie, it came out in 2014 in the United Kingdom, its about a black teen named Layla who recently moved to London from Trinidad. Her mother left her with her grandparents, who were very touchy, to say the least. This girl comes to a mother, who you can tell knows nothing about being a mother. She doesn’t get her in school in time so she is shuffled to this school with metal detectors and babysitters in place of teachers.

She was destined to be with “gangstas”…  it was almost as if her mother left her to handle life on her own. She was able to be free and go where she pleased. She ran into Troy when a few fake friends used her to get into a video shoot. She was pretty, and they were a bit ghetto. You could tell she was pure, which led Troy straight to her. Her “relationship” with him and her so-called friends went down hill from that. She was jumped, abused and eventually left in the hospital after throwing herself in front of traffic.

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This movie was written because of true events, and even if that wasn’t written out, there are many situations like this everywhere. Young girls are having babies and have no idea what to tell their teenage children or teach them the right way. Many parents (and not just single ones) are so busy living their lives that they don’t think about what their children are going through.

It took a murder and police knocking at her door for Layla’ mother to realize this. Why? Why do we not see the signs of distress in our children? Children are committing murder, getting raped, stealing and being sent away because we aren’t watching. We aren’t paying attention. Social media makes it hard on parents, is one of the lamest excuses I have ever heard.

See social media and cellphones only become a problem when you let you children believe they have privacy. See me, I am all in my kids business. I know passwords and I will snatch a phone at the drop of a dime to go through it. We have to stay active parents, yes I know we all need a break here and there, but teenage years are the worst times to take breaks.

I have two teenage daughters and a preteen all under the same roof with a 1st grader. We make it work. They have their lives, but I am very BIG part of it. I know their friends and their friends know me. I am deemed as the cool parent, only because of my relationship with my girls.

See I am honest with my girls, I tell them the stuff that most parents sugar coat. I figure, why sugar coat? Being an adult isn’t sugar coated and its my responsibility to make them ready for the real world.

To get back to Honeytrap, this movies saddens me, because since its a black movie, half of America won’t watch, but the reality is, this happens everyday to girls of all race. Any young girl that is not confident in who she is has these predator boys lurking and plotting their move. We have to protect our daughters, AND we need to teach our sons and nephews how to treat and respect women.

If you feel you have a child going through any of this and you do not know what to do, there are resources and steps to take. Adolescents centers are not just for mental health issues, they are also for behavioral issues. And behavioral issues are anything that can lead to the destruction of themselves. Call your local hospital or outpatient therapy clinic for children. Depending on the assessment they can either go inpatient or outpatient. Stand up for your children, because if we don’t, how will they know how to for themselves.

You know you’re a racist right?

If You Aren’t Sure You’re One… Read On!

I don’t know where this new “trend” has come from, I think the image of “45” and his corrupt campaign tactics. You know the ones that brought all the racism, homophobic, jackasses out of hiding. The “trend” which makes me sick to my stomach, is that the racist people play victim and decide that a person standing up for injustice or speaking out about it is now the racist.

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Make sense to you? Then you may be a racist. Yeah I said it. If you think its ok to call people names and talk down on them like their race is beneath yours, you are probably racist.

“Weakness is what brings ignorance, cheapness, racism, homophobia, desperation, cruelty, brutality, all these things that will keep a society chained to the ground, one foot nailed to the floor.” ~Henry Rollins

Let me throw some examples out there. Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo)( July 30, 2017) tweeted “At Cracker Barrel 4 the 1st time. Looking at the sea of white folk in cowboy hats & wondering “will they let my black ass walk out of here?”” It was a nervous joke that many other black people have made because lets be serious here. Cracker Barrel settled a racial discrimination lawsuit in 2004, and in case you haven’t noticed, black people have been known in history to be killed by large crowds of white people. Must I remind you of the millions of lynchings in Americans history.

Instead of people understanding where this came from the 45 trolls came a running and calling her a racist, a n*gger (which is a racial derogatory statement), she received death and rape threats. How is that ok? Even if you thought for a minute that her statement was racist, how can you threaten to do her the very harm she was worried about?

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45 has made you all think its ok to “grab someone by the p*ssy” or threaten to hurt someone because he has gotten away with these inappropriate outburst himself. I have never seen more people act as if they are not the problem than right now. The “go back to Africa” rants and how we were supposedly immigrants are sickening. That is racist! We are Americans. Our parents were born here, we were born here and our ancestors built this country. How would you like if we said go back to Europe? Because America wasn’t yours to begin with.

Do you remember Christopher Columbus and the “discovery” of a country that was already inhabited? Am I taking you too fast? Let be back up and rewind. The issue is you hate an entire race or believe the stereotypes of that race, then you are racist. Let me clarify, racism is not just white to black. There are more people who are oppressed besides black people. Also, I hate to tell you but if you are black and hate ALL white people, honey you are racist as well. Not all white people are the same. No one is bound by their skin to be a certain way. My great grandfather was a white man who used his freedom to buy slaves and free them. White people marched beside Martin Luther King, Jr and there are white people now standing alongside Black Lives Matters.

The issue is peoples character. The color of your skin is not going to make you who you are any more than the color of your hair and eyes. So why to some is such a big deal? Why is black skin looked at like its a threat? Why try so hard to keep us away from power? Yes we had a black president, but he was blocked on so many issues that he fought hard for, yet we let 45 destroy everything that so many people worked for.

Not only is it black people who have to fight for rights, its women, its the LGBTQ community, its Hispanics, Native Americans, Muslims, its everyone! Now supposedly white people are fighting for rights they already have. I have no idea how thats possible. Affirmative Action was not created to push white people out of a school over populated with them, it was created to give minorities a chance at a higher education.

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Everyone just wants to live their life, find love, become successful and be happy… so I can’t seem to understand why so many feel its their right to take others away. As @iJesseWilliams posted on twitter, “Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. Its not a pie.” So tell me, why is so important to some to block others from the rights they enjoy?

To The Bone – A Netflix Original

Its Review Time!!!!

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So I was having quite a moment last night, my anxiety was on an all time high and I was a wreck. I am so used to binge watching Pretty Little Liars (don’t ask.. I am trying to see where its going) and Criminal Minds from the beginning. I am also watching Underground and a few other shows that definitely don’t help with anxiety or making me feel motivated.

So I googled movies to watch on Netflix and came up with the most outdated lists of movies that were probably mediocre at best. So I started looking through the new releases. Don’t judge me but when my anxiety gets high, I usually watch Tinker Bell or one of the many sequels.

But the title caught my eye and the look of desperation on the girls face looking out the passenger window. Here was a girl that was feeling what I was feeling. The description says its about a 20-year old girl suffering with anorexia and goes on a journey of self discovery.

In this movie, although I am quite on the other spectrum, I eat when I am down… although, there are not many things I can eat now, but thats another story for another day. This movie talks about living when you have all but given up. There are so many factors I got from this. But the biggest thing is “WE ARE NOT DEAD!” We have the option to live our lives how we want. To make decisions to do better than the day before and live!

I know many won’t get this movie, but if you have anxiety, depression or any kind of mental health or medical issue this movie will lift your spirits. In this movie I found my spirit to get up and do what I set out to do. To not feel down about any situations I am going through, but to live my life for me!

***If you or anyone you know are going through something and you feel like you are losing hope please get help. You can call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 its 24/7 or if you don’t feel like talking you can text the crisis hotline. Just text the word CONNECT to 741741. There are ways you can get help… If you need more information you can always email me at tiffanymarnold14@gmail.com. ****