Category Archives: moving forward

Breaking My Silence…

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Over the last month, I have been silent – not in real life, but virtually silent. I stopped writing because I felt like my writing was just because, it had no real meaning and no real purpose behind it. So I stopped and starting thinking about my next moves. During the last few months, I began watching a new sitcom…

THE BOLD TYPE

This show has made me think in more ways than ever because of course I am a mixture of Jane Sloan (Katie Stevens) and Kat Edison (Aisha Dee), because not only am I a writer who is FINALLY following her passion, I am also following my heart as well.

But this show envelops so many more emotions. It hits on the women topics that are often ignored or pushed to the side for matters that other people think are more important. I have always stood up for so many things in my life from racism, homophobia, and sexism. I always felt that I had to pick an issue, because together they don’t make sense.

But why?

Society makes you feel that if you are a black woman that you cannot attend the Women Marches, because you have to remember that you are a black person first. If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, you have to only stick with the “black” pride events because once again, you are black first. But as a black woman, when you march, you are told to hold down your black men first.

I say bullshit! In life we all want the same thing and that is to live our daily lives and be just as happy and feel just as safe as a straight white man. I’m not saying we hate him, or belittle him or down talk anyone, I am saying that why can we not all stand along side of each other. Screenshot 2017-09-06 22.18.15

 

Fighting a fight of whose fight is more important is getting us no where. While we are all fighting 45 is making and changing rules impacting all of our lives except those we are fighting to stand beside each other. We should ALL fight TOGETHER! 

 

 

Can you imagine the impact if every woman, every black, white, brown and in-between, every LGBTQ, every PERSON stood together and fought for us all to be equal? What if we all stood up and told the establishment that WE ALL MATTER?! I believe we would get so much further, but in my mind this works.

Then I think of all the fighting that we all do within our communities. The media always plays on black on black crime but there is women hating and talking down on each other, gay bashing from within, and jealousy always peeping up in any situation. We have to learn how to love ourselves before we can confront someone else about not loving us.

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I know I went deep but The Bold Type does that and the episode I watched tonight, “Carry The Weight” made me remember to carry mine and stand up for what I believe in,     ALL OF IT!

Love you, cause I do!

Suicide – Dont ignore it, it won’t go away

RIL Chester Bennington – Linkin Park lead singer was found dead this morning of an apparent suicide.

Suicide is a topic that many still don’t want to talk about. People who speak up about feeling this way are hushed and told to “pray about it” or pushed away as if they are only asking for attention. YES THEY WANT ATTENTION!!! Why is that so bad? They want attention because they need someone to explain to them that life will get better, that their life is worth living.

By ignoring this issue, the numbers are climbing by children at younger ages. Why is this? Why is suicide talked so bad about and ignored? It causes those who need the help for it to suffer alone.

As someone who has had suicide attempts and ideations, its hard when you feel like you are losing your fight and all someone says is ‘suicide is selfish’, ‘think of who else you’d be hurting’, how do you know that they are not the ones hurting them? Many times if someone is talking about suicide all they think about is how life would be better for people in their lives.

You can’t overlook symptoms because you don’t want someone to be mad at you. I was mad at my best friends when I was 14 because I wanted to die. I called to say goodbye and they called my mother. Although I was mad at them then, I thank them as much as I can. I wouldn’t be here without them, and thats how a friendship should be.

Now on the other end if you ever feel like you should end it, talk to someone. If you have no one to talk to call or text the suicide hotline. I usually do my writing, or watch a happy movie or listen to music with an upbeat. Know that no matter what you have done in life, you can change and life can and will get better. Being happy sometimes takes accepting your life and taking responsibility for your life and what happens to you.

We cannot get through life alone. If you see someone who shows the signs talk to them or get them help. Don’t ignore the signs.

***If you or anyone you know are going through something and you feel like you are losing hope please get help. You can call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 its 24/7 or if you don’t feel like talking you can text the crisis hotline. Just text the word CONNECT to 741741. There are ways you can get help… If you need more information you can always email me at tiffanymarnold14@gmail.com. **** 

Jay Z, Jay Z, Jay Z… Boy You Still Got It!

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So after debating in my head since the debut of 4:44 whether I was going to redo my membership for Tidal, Facebook made me aware that Jay had snuck his new album to iTunes this morning. Best part was, my Apple Music Membership covered it! 

Let me tell you, I have been a Jay-Z fan since I was pregnant with my youngest daughter Screenshot 2017-07-07 20.33.16in 2001 and even before. So my review is probably biased. Not really, cause if Jay would’ve come out with something whack I would’ve called him out.

But this man doesn’t know what whack is, unless you are him describing how he almost pulled a Eric Benet and lost his woman. Now that was indeed whack.

See most people only hear that he admits to all the things that Lemonade was talking about, but they missed the greatness of his album just as they missed the best parts of Beyonce’s albums.

He starts with Kill JayZ spitting on how theres no healing what you hide. He spoke on every rumor and every bad thing he ever did, how he couldn’t take it if he wound up like Future watching another man play ball with his son.

But that wasn’t the best part of the album and if thats all you heard, then you need to listen until you hear the rest. JayZ spoke up on how it doesn’t matter how rich you are, what complexion you are that we are still niggas in their eyes. He talked about how OJ said he wasn’t black he was OJ and how quick they brought him back to reality.

How our so called leaders are dealing with crap like Bill Cosby being held on charges instead of them saying NBC wasn’t for sale. Look at Al Sharpton on IG taking selfies in the mirror, what is he fighting? He’s given up. (Of course you have to look up what Al Sharpton had to say in return.. all I can do is roll my eyes. He always has so much to say but still saying nothing, but thats a different story.)

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My jam is Family Feud, because in this song he speaks about how nobody wins if the family is feuding. He’s not speaking about his family, he’s speaking on our Black family and how we are at each others throats, drinking alcohol that we know is not ours.

He also spoke on how all these “new” rappers/niggas is starting to sound alike, taking pics on IG with money and guns that don’t belong to them. Hanging with chicks who look the same or are the same. How now we in the game of telling on ourselves and it really don’t be about nothing.

He talked about having credit is better than balling out, how you need to put money away for your family and invest in black owned businesses and stop working for everyone else. Like honestly, why are yal still signing record deals like you haven’t seen what they do to people. Stop making other peoples pockets fatter while all along you hungry.

He also spoke on deeper issues about him growing up with a mother who was living a life where she was hiding who she was. How you should your life to make you happy, no matter who doesn’t like it. He even called out the jewelers on how they are robbing people and don’t care even if its blood money, long as its money.

He wrapped it up with a song called Legacy and a shot out to his roots Marcy Me.

JayZ is back yal! He’s a grown man and is ready to face his responsibilities like a man and make his woman happy. He sees his flaws and his imperfections and hopefully will learn from them. Because as he said no loss is a loss its a lesson and appreciate the pain because its a blessing.

Lets hope this album will be the turning point that will allow him to keep that superhero mask on for his babies. Good Job Jay!!! This is now on my favs list. Whats your favorite JayZ album?

Change You First – then the World

You say you’re ready for a revolution, but are you sure?

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You say you want a revolution, but are you sure? You say you are tired of people being oppressed and want changes and call everyone in the neighborhood out for not standing up but are you?

See sometimes we need to stand up and be the change we want to see. We say we want them to stop killing our brothers and want the police to be held accountable for killing our people, but yet when little Ray Ray gets locked up for killing three people – you post “Free My Mans!” You don’t step up and stop those young men who are out acting disgraceful and disrespectful and you are guilty yourself of locking your doors when you see three black men in hoodies. IMG_7064

We yell that women should get equal pay and there should be no gender stereotypes and double standards for women, yet you talked down about Amber Rose’s Slut Walk marketing, or talk bad about Black Chyna for doing what men have been doing for years. Don’t remember, look up Mary J Blige. I’ll wait.

You say you don’t tolerate racism but you a black person, the “most” oppressed person on this planet hate white people, nor do you stand for others that are oppressed because who has heard of the Puerto Rico movement for Independence, or fight for the Veterans who are homeless and starving. How often do you stop to feed someone you see hungry on the side of the road or give up some of your savings to help a cause.

We are so quick to talk about someone else’s agenda and don’t look within ourselves. Justice starts within you. You have to start being that person that you want the world to be. How can you complain about others mistreating you if you are still mistreating others?

I originally started writing an article about the different movements, but I feel like any good movement starts within. We are responsible for ourselves and how we treat others. You can fight for equality if you have some prejudices in you. You have to fight the fight as well.

Screenshot 2017-07-06 17.03.41I hate to say it but it seems as if this day today is mostly about complaining and no action. We see a peaceful movement that Colin Kaepernick started and many were talking so bad about how he was doing it but not why. If you stand for something, you should stand for it no matter where you are. If you are a cop and you see that one of your “CO-WORKERS” (let me stress that word) is acting ugly and using his power for granted, its up to you to stop him and call him out.

I have seen some of the bravest souls make a stand during football and they are talked down because they are told the field is sacred. Remember Beyonce’s Formation ‘Half-Time Show’? Why? You should stand up in front of people and not just behind a computer screen.

Its time to stand up, but we have to stand up first to ourselves. We can’t fix the world if we refuse ourselves to be fixed.

Mistakes Lead to Greatness

“A person who never made mistakes, never tried anything new.” ~ Albert Einstein 
Someone is always judging you no matter what you do in life. Part of being great is taking risks. How will you know if something will work if you don’t make a few mistakes along the way? Do you know how many tries it took to get the right ingredients for a light bulb? It took Thomas Edison 3,000 attempts to invent the lightbulb. 3,000 attempts!!! I’m sure someone along the way told him to give up, or told him that he needed to do something different. Where would we be if he would’ve listened? In the dark! 
My point is giving up should never be an option, no matter what people say. You have to follow your heart and do what you feel to do. Otherwise you will always wonder what if and resent the ones around you who discouraged you from doing what you felt. 
Whose to say your dreams may encourage someone else. Maybe your mistakes will turn out to be something great. Did you know that potato chips, x-Ray images, plastic, matches and coca-cola (to name a few) were mistakes. Each of the inventors were trying to create something different but came up with something else great. 
So don’t fret when someone talks down on you. Let them talk, cause if they’re talking you must be doing something right. Besides think about it, if they are so busy talking about you they can’t follow their own dreams, which leaves more room for you. Also the same people talking down on you, will be the same ones with their hand out or looking for recognition when you succeed. Ignore them because misery loves company. 
               ~ Love Tichelle 💋