Category Archives: knowing you

You’re Miserable Because of YOU!

You know that one friend that always talks negative, always has a lot going on and you know when you answer that phone that its going to be another sad story… 

If you don’t, then honey you are that friend and you definitely need to keep reading. Screenshot 2017-09-14 22.28.03

See I have this friend that always is in a bad relationship, I keep telling her that if you don’t learn from a situation you are doomed to repeat it, but honey I don’t want to keep hearing you complain about them. But what do you do? How do you tell someone to stop with the dramatics.

I have started working on my karmic energy and charging and cleansing my chakras but that ole mean ass heffa, the one that is blunt and no nonsense comes out every so often to drop some knowledge on some pitiful soul.

GIRL YOU ARE YOUR OWN MISERY!!!

If every situation is the same, you keep meeting and dating the same people, everyone is making you mad then its time to stop pointing fingers and start looking at yourself. Everyone in the world is not off, it could be your ass. Sit down, stay single learn yourself and then get back out there.

Sometimes we rush to find the one that we mistake a “right now” for a “lifetime”. Uh uh, I have learn from that mistake and have happily been single for a good minute and I am learning a lot because of it.

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Stop being that friend, if its you and if its not put that ass on do not disturb and relax.

-If no one has told you they love you today, know that I do! 

Breaking My Silence…

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Over the last month, I have been silent – not in real life, but virtually silent. I stopped writing because I felt like my writing was just because, it had no real meaning and no real purpose behind it. So I stopped and starting thinking about my next moves. During the last few months, I began watching a new sitcom…

THE BOLD TYPE

This show has made me think in more ways than ever because of course I am a mixture of Jane Sloan (Katie Stevens) and Kat Edison (Aisha Dee), because not only am I a writer who is FINALLY following her passion, I am also following my heart as well.

But this show envelops so many more emotions. It hits on the women topics that are often ignored or pushed to the side for matters that other people think are more important. I have always stood up for so many things in my life from racism, homophobia, and sexism. I always felt that I had to pick an issue, because together they don’t make sense.

But why?

Society makes you feel that if you are a black woman that you cannot attend the Women Marches, because you have to remember that you are a black person first. If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, you have to only stick with the “black” pride events because once again, you are black first. But as a black woman, when you march, you are told to hold down your black men first.

I say bullshit! In life we all want the same thing and that is to live our daily lives and be just as happy and feel just as safe as a straight white man. I’m not saying we hate him, or belittle him or down talk anyone, I am saying that why can we not all stand along side of each other. Screenshot 2017-09-06 22.18.15

 

Fighting a fight of whose fight is more important is getting us no where. While we are all fighting 45 is making and changing rules impacting all of our lives except those we are fighting to stand beside each other. We should ALL fight TOGETHER! 

 

 

Can you imagine the impact if every woman, every black, white, brown and in-between, every LGBTQ, every PERSON stood together and fought for us all to be equal? What if we all stood up and told the establishment that WE ALL MATTER?! I believe we would get so much further, but in my mind this works.

Then I think of all the fighting that we all do within our communities. The media always plays on black on black crime but there is women hating and talking down on each other, gay bashing from within, and jealousy always peeping up in any situation. We have to learn how to love ourselves before we can confront someone else about not loving us.

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I know I went deep but The Bold Type does that and the episode I watched tonight, “Carry The Weight” made me remember to carry mine and stand up for what I believe in,     ALL OF IT!

Love you, cause I do!

Your Truth – Live In It – Cookie Does

Don’t be what they want you to be…

I am so behind on so many shows that Hulu has become my best friend. So as I am binge watching Empire, I see something that brings attention to something. I am always speaking on being you and living in your truth yet I am scared to truly be me.

There is one thing about Cookie Lyons character that I love, she is true to herself, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks about her. She knows her stuff and she is not ashamed to tell someone when their shit is stank.

For example I was watching the episode where Cookie was on a date with the guy that was running for major. Her assistant told her the place was like a nightclub, but it was indeed an opera house. Cookie was killing it though in a short red dress, despite all the side eyes from the other women in full gowns.

As women sometimes do, which I don’t understand, they tried to make her look bad in front of her date asking her questions that they thought she wouldn’t understand, but he stood his ground and stood up for her. Here was the part that I was screaming for joy on – Cookie was in the stall and the two women from earlier were talking about how she was ghetto and out of place. She came out that stall and was herself as she checked them. Let them know she may be a little ghetto but she was about her money and wasn’t kissing they fake bougie asses.

Screenshot 2017-07-26 12.34.37I bring that up because so many of us are miserable because we are putting up a false face everyday. We strive so hard to please people who could care less about us, why? Why try to conform to a box of what society tells you is acceptable? From your weight, your hairstyles, the latest fashions, whats beautiful, and your sexual orientation.

Be who you are and be true to yourself. No matter what you do in life someone is going to talk about you. Nine times out of ten if they are talking about you its because they are jealous that you are being happy while they are still putting on a mask every morning. Those who truly love you, will love you no matter what. There should be no conditions on friendship or relationships. Love doesn’t come with that.

So be free! Be happy! Love yourself…. and most importantly, be true to yourself.

Review Time!!! A Kids Classic Tale!

Review - Wooden 3d rendered letters/message

Moana – A Kids Movie With Real Life Problems.

I know, I know I am super late right, but hey… Here we go! So Moana is definitely a Disney movie that is all the glitz and glamour. It has the catching songs, bright colors and bubbly characters. Animals and all.

So here’s where to me the message stood out. In the beginning, Moana’s mother tells her that who she wants to be is not always who she is supposed to be. WRONG! The ocean continues to call her to her destiny, to be great! Everything that Moana was supposed to find out she did, partly because of her “crazy lady” grandma and fate.

See no matter how much her parents told her to be safe and go one way, the way that the family had been doing for years, she was drawn to her purpose. I know I have felt like that, like following the “rules” wasn’t meant for me. That I lived at a different pace. It seems when I go that different route, things happen for me. Like bread crumbs… follow the good feeling.

Now what would have happened if Moana listened to her parents who told her to ignore her urges and follow the way the tribe had been going for generations? The way of the land would have died off along with its people. Sometimes following rules and going by the book is not the way to go. Sometimes you need to think outside the box and follow your heart. Your dreams will lead you where you are supposed to go in life.

In life you cant live for everyone else, you have to beat your own drum no matter the odd beats that may escape. At first it wont be a rhythm that you will recognize, it may take a weird route and be hard times, but in the end it will be YOUR beat! Moana did what she set out to do, she delivered Mauwi to restore the heart of Tafiti. She did what her family thought she couldn’t do, and in doing so she was met with a sense of accomplishment and a better way of life for her people.

This is an important message in life because we cannot live our lives for other people. We have to fight to make the best of our lives here on Earth, to not only make a name for ourselves, but to be able to look in the mirror after retirement and know that we lived our lives to its fullest. No one including your parents are going to change their course of happiness for you, so why do you need to do the same for them.

As parents our job is to raise you and prepare you for the real world, but it should also be to support you in all you decide you do in life. I teach my daughters the opposite of Moana’s parents. I teach them to follow their hearts and do what they know is right and what they can live with. It gives them freedom to make decisions but also the life lessons that comes with consequences and rewards on real life terms.

Be at peace and follow your heart, because living life as everyone else is boring. Be the best you that you can be.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/LKFuXETZUsI

What Do You REALLY Expect?

Be honest when you get in a relationship what do you want? Many will answer this and say someone with their life together, a good job, their own place and a vehicle of some kind. Now that’s all good, but what about the person? What do you expect from the person for you to remain happy with that person? Not the normal, communicates with me, makes me laugh, faithful and honest. But what about the deeper things that you need to feel secure in your relationship?
Many people don’t think about this until they are stuck in a relationship that isn’t working. Maybe your girlfriend is too flirty and you can’t take that, or maybe your boyfriend is a little too friendly online. What is it that is dire in a relationship that you wouldn’t think to question until its too late?
For me its security, I need to know that not only will I be physically be safe with you, but I need to know that emotionally I will be safe with you. I do not like to be made into a fool by other people. I like for our problems to be our problems. Don’t get me wrong, I have my people I vent to (all close friends that know how I am and gives me honest views without judging) and I expect the person I am with to have the same. But I mean social media shouldn’t know our problems, ex-girlfriends shouldn’t have the opportunity to comment on our issues via Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
I also need to be given attention and affection. I am a very affectionate person. I know that everyone else is not as affectionate as I am, but I expect to be shown how much I am appreciated through a kiss, a passionate touch or even a sexy glance. I am lucky to 
What about you? What do you appreciate or disagree with in a relationship? These are the things that you should inquire about when you are in the dating stages. That way you know that you will be fulfilled in all aspects of your relationship. There is nothing worse than someone who has a good man/good woman but drags them hell because they are not completely happy.

Just note every bad relationship teaches you a little more about what you want from a relationship AND helps you to appreciate the one when it comes along.