Category Archives: fighting

Hatred is not a strong enough word…

Being Quiet is Never A Solution

I have had a hard time deciding just what to say about the so-called “demonstrations” in Charlottesville. To say I am disgusted doesn’t seem to reach the truth of my feelings. I am beyond pissed, hurt, disturbed and down right disgusted at what these over privileged crybabies with a lack of morals and empathy are doing.

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Let me clarify, I say privileged because they were able to cause innocent deaths and injuries and were still able to go home at night or to a jail cell with no personal injuries. They were not harmed. To make matters worse black men where in uniform protecting these idiots at a rally they otherwise would not be invited to.

This was definitely a job that I could not have done. But I will say that I am so proud of several people for taking a deeper look at the photos that were taken. Finding the faces of people with powerful job titles hiding in the mix, unafraid to show their face, but afraid to lose all they had.

IMG_0234Several people who were in attendance no longer have a job. The companies that they represent do not want to be associated with hatred, yet the one person that should have stood against this blamed both sides and said there was good and bad people on both sides. Hmm… where is the good in a Nazi? A white supremacist? A KKK member? I see none. And to compare BLM and Antifa to hatred groups is beyond fabricated.

BLM and Antifa are groups to fight against oppression not exclude or hurt someone because of something they cannot control. They are groups to explain that everyone lives matters. BLM means black lives matter TOO!!! Not that only our lives matter. To hear 45 defend these people who have been killing and causing uproars and literally disrespect this country with his slogans on hats makes me wonder what America he was trying to go back to.

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I write everyday and this article has been lurking in my mind and I have processed this several times. I cannot fathom how anyone cannot see that not only is Trump trying to undo former President Obamas legacy, he is trying to take away the rights of everyone who is not a straight white man with money, all while playing those who are oppressed as terrorist or hate groups. He is truly backwards.

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It hasn’t even been a year and look at how much commotion he has caused all while he is still rallying. This man doesn’t even realize that he is president yet and we have 3 1/2 years left. At this point impeachment is not enough, we need him impeached and deported. His citizenship should be stricken for being the worst president in history. The only true record he has ever broken.

-If no one has told you they love you today, know I do.

 

 

 

Breaking My Silence…

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Over the last month, I have been silent – not in real life, but virtually silent. I stopped writing because I felt like my writing was just because, it had no real meaning and no real purpose behind it. So I stopped and starting thinking about my next moves. During the last few months, I began watching a new sitcom…

THE BOLD TYPE

This show has made me think in more ways than ever because of course I am a mixture of Jane Sloan (Katie Stevens) and Kat Edison (Aisha Dee), because not only am I a writer who is FINALLY following her passion, I am also following my heart as well.

But this show envelops so many more emotions. It hits on the women topics that are often ignored or pushed to the side for matters that other people think are more important. I have always stood up for so many things in my life from racism, homophobia, and sexism. I always felt that I had to pick an issue, because together they don’t make sense.

But why?

Society makes you feel that if you are a black woman that you cannot attend the Women Marches, because you have to remember that you are a black person first. If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, you have to only stick with the “black” pride events because once again, you are black first. But as a black woman, when you march, you are told to hold down your black men first.

I say bullshit! In life we all want the same thing and that is to live our daily lives and be just as happy and feel just as safe as a straight white man. I’m not saying we hate him, or belittle him or down talk anyone, I am saying that why can we not all stand along side of each other. Screenshot 2017-09-06 22.18.15

 

Fighting a fight of whose fight is more important is getting us no where. While we are all fighting 45 is making and changing rules impacting all of our lives except those we are fighting to stand beside each other. We should ALL fight TOGETHER! 

 

 

Can you imagine the impact if every woman, every black, white, brown and in-between, every LGBTQ, every PERSON stood together and fought for us all to be equal? What if we all stood up and told the establishment that WE ALL MATTER?! I believe we would get so much further, but in my mind this works.

Then I think of all the fighting that we all do within our communities. The media always plays on black on black crime but there is women hating and talking down on each other, gay bashing from within, and jealousy always peeping up in any situation. We have to learn how to love ourselves before we can confront someone else about not loving us.

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I know I went deep but The Bold Type does that and the episode I watched tonight, “Carry The Weight” made me remember to carry mine and stand up for what I believe in,     ALL OF IT!

Love you, cause I do!

Change You First – then the World

You say you’re ready for a revolution, but are you sure?

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You say you want a revolution, but are you sure? You say you are tired of people being oppressed and want changes and call everyone in the neighborhood out for not standing up but are you?

See sometimes we need to stand up and be the change we want to see. We say we want them to stop killing our brothers and want the police to be held accountable for killing our people, but yet when little Ray Ray gets locked up for killing three people – you post “Free My Mans!” You don’t step up and stop those young men who are out acting disgraceful and disrespectful and you are guilty yourself of locking your doors when you see three black men in hoodies. IMG_7064

We yell that women should get equal pay and there should be no gender stereotypes and double standards for women, yet you talked down about Amber Rose’s Slut Walk marketing, or talk bad about Black Chyna for doing what men have been doing for years. Don’t remember, look up Mary J Blige. I’ll wait.

You say you don’t tolerate racism but you a black person, the “most” oppressed person on this planet hate white people, nor do you stand for others that are oppressed because who has heard of the Puerto Rico movement for Independence, or fight for the Veterans who are homeless and starving. How often do you stop to feed someone you see hungry on the side of the road or give up some of your savings to help a cause.

We are so quick to talk about someone else’s agenda and don’t look within ourselves. Justice starts within you. You have to start being that person that you want the world to be. How can you complain about others mistreating you if you are still mistreating others?

I originally started writing an article about the different movements, but I feel like any good movement starts within. We are responsible for ourselves and how we treat others. You can fight for equality if you have some prejudices in you. You have to fight the fight as well.

Screenshot 2017-07-06 17.03.41I hate to say it but it seems as if this day today is mostly about complaining and no action. We see a peaceful movement that Colin Kaepernick started and many were talking so bad about how he was doing it but not why. If you stand for something, you should stand for it no matter where you are. If you are a cop and you see that one of your “CO-WORKERS” (let me stress that word) is acting ugly and using his power for granted, its up to you to stop him and call him out.

I have seen some of the bravest souls make a stand during football and they are talked down because they are told the field is sacred. Remember Beyonce’s Formation ‘Half-Time Show’? Why? You should stand up in front of people and not just behind a computer screen.

Its time to stand up, but we have to stand up first to ourselves. We can’t fix the world if we refuse ourselves to be fixed.

Standing Up – In Any Way – Its Necessary!

“Dear White People” – Not your ordinary review!

So I just finished Netflix’s original “Dear White People” directed by Tina Mabry (http://www.morgansmark.com/) and baby let me tell you. First of all, Samantha, aka Sam, was me from the beginning, minus the romantic part. I have always been the girl that was questioned about what my racial heritage is –  I am black mixed with black mixed with why the hell does it matter? I am a black woman who is tired of being called the angry black woman when I cannot be treated the same as every one else, let alone every other woman.

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My black is beautiful

This show brought up so many emotions as I thought about how we are condemned for standing up for ourselves and yet ridiculed when we are quiet. We are told we should stop crying about the past, but who has learned from it? Not this current generation, but how can they when they are being taught the wrong thing. When has being kidnapped from your home, sold on a chopping block and beaten for being who you are considered being an immigrant? How can centuries of families torn apart, murdered tortured and killed called being treated right unless we misbehaved? These were grown men and women that were treated less than an animal. Had less rights than their unborn son or daughter and less to eat than a pet. Humans treated as if our color was a sin.

Yet we are supposed to forget and stop being so angry. Many of our black women weren’t angry until we have been walked over, used and abused. We are taught that we are all the same and we bleed the same, but yet why is my blood treated like its contaminated?

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Truth

I know it seems like I am all over the place, but Tina, baby you are to blame! There are so many emotions flooding through my mind from this show. It touched so many issues, some that I feel could’ve been deeper. You made me remember the reasons I fight, the reasons I am tired and the reasons I need to stand up for everything I believe in.

If you haven’t watched it yet, then you need to go to Netflix.com and if you don’t have an account, get one, its totally worth it! Check out “Dear White People”, I finished it in one night and now I am mad I have to wait for the next season. By the way, excellent job on the cast. They really deliver each character with passion.

Let me tell you, this show is real, and deals with real issues that black people deal with on a daily basis. Now while looking up cast and director information, I used IMDB.com and the nerve of them to classify the genre of this show as comedy. Another reason we will never learn, because our issues are never being taken serious. The comments on the Youtube trailer was that the video promotes racism to Caucasians. (I swear that’s a topic for another post… I have to process that mess.)

Until next time – Love and Peace!

Do You Always Have To Yell?

Relationships are hard, at least everyone I have had so far are. Communication is essential to keeping it alive and thriving, but what happens when you are both at a stand still and no one seems to be talking to anyone? Many people at this point run, they end the relationship and cut ties with the person only to feel guilty later because they really cared for that person. Try these steps:
1. Talk when you are ALONE about serious topics: Do not wait for an audience. Many people hold on to emotions and then decided that a room full of people is the best way to get a reaction out of the one they love. That is not right, or fair. When you do this you invite other people to give opinions on your relationship, which always causes conflict. Think about how many friends would love to here bad things about your relationship problems than to see you all actually work it out. What about that lurker in your group of friends that is just waiting for you all to break up? You are giving them the perfect opportunity.
2. Speak calm:When you yell or scream the other person is not listening to you. They are starting to feel like they are becoming attacked and will become defensive. Then your conversation will be lost. It doesn’t matter if you are saying have a nice day, if your tone doesn’t mean it then they will not hear it. Take deep breaths if you feel you are becoming irritated or upset and approach the conversation from a different way.
3. Pick your battles: If something is really not important to you, then don’t fight about it. Matter of fact, do you really even need to bring it up. Decide if it’s something that you can let go of. Don’t think you can let it go and then a few margaritas later you are bringing it up. Which leads me to:
4. Stay on topic: You can not get your point across about one topic if you are all over the place with another topic. Don’t bring up something that happened last week or two years ago. Talk about what is bothering you right then and there.
5. Refrain from physical violence: If you feel your temper is rising and you are getting to the point where you want to hit something or throw something, walk away. Evaluate if this person is even for you since you feel you have to get physical. Maybe you all need a break from each other permanently or maybe you need to invest in some anger management. There is never a reason to hit anyone.
6. If they walk away let them: They may need to cool off because of their temper. Don’t walk behind them pressing buttons or yell louder. Take the time yourself to get your thoughts together and calm the situation down.
Don’t wait until you are fuming mad to try and talk to your significant other. Talk to them about everything whether good or bad. The only way you will get to truly know each other is by opening up your life and letting this person in. Good luck!

Love Tichelle