Category Archives: broken heart

Suicide – Dont ignore it, it won’t go away

RIL Chester Bennington – Linkin Park lead singer was found dead this morning of an apparent suicide.

Suicide is a topic that many still don’t want to talk about. People who speak up about feeling this way are hushed and told to “pray about it” or pushed away as if they are only asking for attention. YES THEY WANT ATTENTION!!! Why is that so bad? They want attention because they need someone to explain to them that life will get better, that their life is worth living.

By ignoring this issue, the numbers are climbing by children at younger ages. Why is this? Why is suicide talked so bad about and ignored? It causes those who need the help for it to suffer alone.

As someone who has had suicide attempts and ideations, its hard when you feel like you are losing your fight and all someone says is ‘suicide is selfish’, ‘think of who else you’d be hurting’, how do you know that they are not the ones hurting them? Many times if someone is talking about suicide all they think about is how life would be better for people in their lives.

You can’t overlook symptoms because you don’t want someone to be mad at you. I was mad at my best friends when I was 14 because I wanted to die. I called to say goodbye and they called my mother. Although I was mad at them then, I thank them as much as I can. I wouldn’t be here without them, and thats how a friendship should be.

Now on the other end if you ever feel like you should end it, talk to someone. If you have no one to talk to call or text the suicide hotline. I usually do my writing, or watch a happy movie or listen to music with an upbeat. Know that no matter what you have done in life, you can change and life can and will get better. Being happy sometimes takes accepting your life and taking responsibility for your life and what happens to you.

We cannot get through life alone. If you see someone who shows the signs talk to them or get them help. Don’t ignore the signs.

***If you or anyone you know are going through something and you feel like you are losing hope please get help. You can call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 its 24/7 or if you don’t feel like talking you can text the crisis hotline. Just text the word CONNECT to 741741. There are ways you can get help… If you need more information you can always email me at tiffanymarnold14@gmail.com. **** 

We Love You Uncle Jack!

Andrew Jackson Frost – Rest In Love

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I know I usually reserve Thursdays for reviews, but death has knocked on my families door and took a big piece of my heart and I want to tell you all about him. He deserves a celebrity style memorial and article, because he was more than a celebrity to me.

I didn’t have a lot of positive male role models in my life growing up, nor did I have a lot of positive pictures of marriage and true love. Matter fact, I can only think of one pair, that hasn’t been destroyed. My Aunt Vern and Uncle Jack, married for 68 years, they’ve never spent a day apart minus his times in the war.

I don’t know much about their lives before us grandkids, all I have is my memories of him and stories that I have been told, but I don’t want to give you their stories, I want to give you mine. I remember as a kid, my Mom, and Aunts would send all the grandkids to Arkansas. My Grandma was still working at the time so my brother and I would go to their house during the day. They owned a local laundry mat, and my uncle was good at his hands, he did everything. I remember all the times he would come in with his work jumpsuit, you know the old mechanic one piece with the buttons down the front. He would be full of oil, from cars he worked on, or machines that broke down. A jack of all trades.

His sense of humor was amazing. I never seen my uncle shed a tear or frown. He had this deep down in the belly laugh that filled your soul with smiles. He loved us, I mean really loved us. I haven’t seen him in the last I think 10/15 years, but we had lots of telephone conversations. He, unfortunately, never met my girls face to face, but he spoke to them on the phone constantly, especially when my Grandma was there visiting. He loved my kids just as much as he loved us grandkids. The spark on his face when in pictures with his great-grandbabies. Family was everything to him.

My Aunt is the tough aunt, you know the one that would tell you about yourself and then make you a hot meal, the one that didn’t care who you are she will tell you about yourself. She didn’t always smile hard, but when my Uncle would come home she would. He was the only person I ever saw who could calm her down. 68 years is a long time to be with someone, to have them taken away from you.

Tuesday, my Uncle passed away, he was 94 years old. This ripped holes in my soul. I cried until I think my eye sockets were dry. He was sick, and that morning, I received a text warning that things were bad, but I expected him to pull through. He always did. I know crying won’t bring him back, but it hurts all the same. As I sit here typing this out, my eye sockets hurt, I just wish I could see his smile one more time, here his laugh. I can’t imaging what my Aunts are going through, or my cousins.

He was one of my few role models on how a man was supposed to be. I may not be able to see him put to rest, but he will forever be in my heart. I love you Uncle Jack, until we meet again. 

Review!!! Thursday Special

Review - Wooden 3d rendered letters/messageMe Before You… I Cried Real Tears.

As I watched this movie the song “Why I Love You” by MAJOR played in my head, and as I write this article this song is on repeat, bringing tears with every note.

“I found love.. in you.. and no other love will do… every moment that you smile… chases all the pain away… forever and a while… in my heart is where you’ll stay..

This song wraps this movie up in the exact words and emotions. When I first heard this song, I realized that this is the kind of love that I want, the kind of love that will show no limits and no restrictions. The kind of love that will push you to love yourself beyond all measures and love life. The kind of love that makes you wake up ever morning smiling because of the possibilities.

This movie was all about fate. Lou Clark lost her job that she started six years prior on a dare. It was at a cute little coffee shop where she was amazing with the patrons. She was matched with a job, from the Career Center,  as a caregiver for Will Traynor, a bad boy turned paraplegic, who only wanted to give life a six months trial period after a horrible accident. What happened in front of my eyes was a love story, without all the glitz and glimmer, without the happy ending, but a true love story in itself.

Screenshot 2017-05-24 05.38.31

Will had a very fulfilling life before his accident and a very bland and meaningless life afterwards. When Lou came around in her crazy outfits, bad jokes and bubbly personality, she showed him what life could be like while making the best out of a bad situation.

His parents thought it was enough for him to give life a second chance, and Lou, unbeknownst to her, fell quickly in love with him. He fought his pain for her, just to see her smile. He gave her a different pep in her step and a greater sense of self-esteem.

Love wasn’t enough in the end for him to stay in pain. His love for her was great enough that he didn’t want her to be stuck living a life surrounded by taking care of him. He went to another country to die peacefully all of course with her in his arms.

I cried at the end, but not the ugly, life-is-not-fair cry, but instead a peaceful cry of new beginnings. What Lou had now was a new sense of life and a new path to explore. Yes of course, like with all of these movies, he had money and she didn’t, but that was overshadowed with the genuineness of the movie, the softness of Emilia Clarke’s acting and the gorgeous smile of Sam Claflin.

So I play Majors song with a movie in my head, with a picture, to me of real love. Love to me isn’t the fairy-tale that everything is going to be perfect and harmonious at all times. Love to me is completely unconditional, completely selfless and pure. You have to love beyond all the good things about a person. You have to love the ugly, the impatience, the stubbornness; you have to love that person hard enough through times when they may not necessarily love themselves.

Now I could love this movie so much because it was 3 am and my heart was broken. It filled a void, but thats what a movie is supposed to do. Make you feel like you found the emotions that the movie is portraying. In my heart, the pieces have been mended and I feel as if I see life a little brighter, at least until the sun rises and reality sets in.

I have to say this movie is amazing and I am definitely going to read the book by Jojo Moyes.

Check out the movie trailer and music video by MAJOR!

Movie Trailer: https://youtu.be/T0MmkG_nG1U

Song (Why I Love You by MAJOR): https://youtu.be/FqiVMKJxWK0

Forgive But Never Forget

Life has given me plenty of ups and downs. Plenty of moments when I have been the victim. I have been hurt so many times, it’s like I expect it. My Mom says I always give second chances. No matter how much someone could drive me through the dirt or hurt me I always let them come back. Why? Because I believe people change. I know that I am not the same person I was two years ago or even two days ago. I am always evaluating who I am as a person and growing. I wouldn’t want someone to judge me or base their entire opinion on me based on mistakes I’ve made in the past. So why would I do that to someone else?



The problem is I forgive and forget. You should never forgive and forget. You can forgive but forgetting gives them a chance to repeat the same routine they did before. Maybe that person did in fact change but out of habit, getting back around you things begin to feel familiar. For example, a drug addict can’t go through rehab and then go back to the same things they were doing before they got clean. Familiar scenery are grounds for relapse. 
That’s the same with behavior. Knowing this makes so much sense to all my relationship issues (friends and family included). I need to learn to let go. As the late great Maya Angelou used to say “when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time”. 
Frankly I’m tired of being hurt, and it’s time for me to take a stand. Along with all of you. Sometimes we have to take responsibility for getting hurt. It’s not always the people around us that we can point the finger to. We have to look inside us and inside our behaviors and patterns. Why do we continue to LET people hurt us? 
So put your foot down, be strong and realize that life is too short to waste time being miserable, being scared, being depressed and not happy. Take the time you need between relationships and heal. Putting a bandaid on top of a wound and keep moving doesn’t always work. The bandaid will eventually fall off and show your scars. But if you let them heal internally, you can remove that bandaid, proudly own the left over marks and move on with peace. 
~Love Tichelle 💋

I Need Help This Time

           

            It’s over. The one relationship that you thought would never end, it was different than the rest. Although you said that before, this one was different, or so you thought. Now here you are again. Picking up the pieces of your broken heart and trying to find a way to put it back together. But just like every other time, there are pieces missing. This time even more than before. What’s next? How can you come from this? How can you move on?

            To be honest, I don’t know. I know I usually have an answer for everything, but I really don’t know how to heal from a broken heart. My heart has been broken so many times that I don’t think it will ever fully heal and believe in love again.
            For example, I am in the middle of a brutal break up. I thought I had finally met someone that truly loves me for me, and will be there to support me regardless of what I am facing and I was wrong. I am back where I started, heart broken and feeling like I wasted time. The worst part, the part that makes this one hurt far more than any other break up I have been through, is that I really opened up and talked about things I never discussed with anyone. Now I feel like I shouldn’t have. Like I never should’ve opened up.
            Ok this wasn’t supposed to be about what I am going through. I wasn’t supposed to talk about my heartbreak. I was supposed to talk about how to get over it, how to heal from it. But now instead of giving you all advice, I am asking you all for it. I need to know how you all move on. I already know the standard general responses like pray about it, take your time, ya, ya, ya… I don’t want to hear that. I want to hear about the stuff you do when you first decide its over, or when you first get dumped. The way you get rid of the overwhelming feelings of loss and betrayal.

            I was going to put a disclaimer for my ex or mutual friends but you know, I hope this is read. I hope that maybe my pain will be seen, because I’m not always the best at verbally expressing my feelings. Then again, I am trying to learn to not care. Smh… I really need help yal.

Unrequited Love

That amazing feeling you have when your every thought is of that one person. You catch yourself smiling for no reason about them. They can touch you and your whole body turns to mush. You tingle from a simple gesture. You’re in love. Not the puppy love where you are drawing hearts and doodling their name and yours together, but in love where you pray for them before you pray for yourself, the type of love where you want to give yourself up completely to them.
And then the unthinkable happens; you realize the love is not returned. You are putting your time and emotion into someone who does not feel the same about you. Maybe you were the rebound, maybe they NEVER really put their heart into it, or maybe you fell to quick. Whatever it is, you realize that you are the only one who thinks this is a good thing.
What do you do? So many people are so quick to judge and say you should move on, but what if you have really invested your time and feelings into this person? Shouldn’t you try to fight for something that feels right to you? Shouldn’t you try to find out why this person doesn’t see in you what you see in them? Why should you just walk away?
SO YOU DON’T GET HURT! So many are willing to put the

ir feelings aside for someone else. Don’t try to be everything for this person, because if they don’t see it, they never will, and in the end you will be mad at them for wasting your time, when really you can’t be mad at anyone but yourself.

The person that is right for you will not make you feel like that. You will know that they feel the same way without any hesitation, without any doubt.
Now how do you move on? These have always been my ways of moving on. They work for me, and I hope they work for you.
1. Stay away from them. Any contact with them will make you weak and fall back for the very things that make you fall for them. Trust me they are not worth your time.
2. Stay away from sad love songs. Play songs that talk about self-strength and moving on or self-love, nothing that reminds you of him/her.
3. Do not drink alone. If you do drink, drink with someone that will take your phone and keep you away from “drunk texting”.
 
4. Cry. Let out the emotions you feel so you can release them and move on.

Last but not least…

5. take the time to heal. Do not start talking to someone new until you have completely closed this door. Or you will do to the next what this one just did to you.
Love Yal… lovetichelle