Category Archives: being happy

Just Write and Just Be….

Yesterday I was in Barnes & Nobles and I was searching the magazine aisle as I do normally and I came across this guy and his wife. He was saying he wanted to be a writer and I thought about the advice I received, so be one! We talked for a good twenty minutes before him and his wife had to go, but I got so many ideas from his conversation and I hope I gave him enough encouragement to get those books out. He has soo many fresh ideas, that I believe would be a great face for his ministry.

“Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.”

 – E.L. Doctrow

Screenshot 2018-03-07 21.41.53But I thought about it, so many times we have amazing ideas, and we don’t do it because we think things have to be done a certain way, or like everyone else has done. I look at Chance the Rapper and I know thats not true. Here is a guy who loves hip hop and made it, several awards and he has NEVER been signed. He did it the way he chose to and not the way everyone has and he also has reached back and helped others.

I am a writer, I have been writing a little over 10 years now and I never asked others how they did it. Its like half the time people act like its a secret to the success of it, but its nothing more than sitting in front of my computer daily and typing words, even when they don’t make any sense.

pexels-photo-279470.jpegSo I say to all those out there with a dream to do something, DO IT! Write that book, direct that film, run that marathon… you can do anything and as so many greats have said the greatest things are on the other side of fear. So why let an emotion or the unknown block you. Because why should we all be one paycheck away from homelessness with a job we hate when we can create what jobs we want and reach back and give a hand to someone and lift them up along the way. Imagine if we all had the job we wanted and we were all happy. Imagine a world with no chaos. I dream of it…. I think it can happen.

So… one of the things I have been thinking of starting is Feminist Friday! I saw Ellevest do it on Linkedin and I thought it was a wonderful idea, except theres is Feminist Financial Friday and I want mine to be a little more relatable. Mr John Smith Jr, no lie he had the most common name ever, a pastor at Mt Zion Baptist Church, was telling me about his cousin a fashion designer and she will be my very first Feminist Friday. I would like to encourage women by the struggles and accomplishments of others and her story is unlike so many but yet sooo immensely encouraging.

So stay tuned… I have a Friday theme!!!

If no one has told you – I love you! 

You’re Miserable Because of YOU!

You know that one friend that always talks negative, always has a lot going on and you know when you answer that phone that its going to be another sad story… 

If you don’t, then honey you are that friend and you definitely need to keep reading. Screenshot 2017-09-14 22.28.03

See I have this friend that always is in a bad relationship, I keep telling her that if you don’t learn from a situation you are doomed to repeat it, but honey I don’t want to keep hearing you complain about them. But what do you do? How do you tell someone to stop with the dramatics.

I have started working on my karmic energy and charging and cleansing my chakras but that ole mean ass heffa, the one that is blunt and no nonsense comes out every so often to drop some knowledge on some pitiful soul.

GIRL YOU ARE YOUR OWN MISERY!!!

If every situation is the same, you keep meeting and dating the same people, everyone is making you mad then its time to stop pointing fingers and start looking at yourself. Everyone in the world is not off, it could be your ass. Sit down, stay single learn yourself and then get back out there.

Sometimes we rush to find the one that we mistake a “right now” for a “lifetime”. Uh uh, I have learn from that mistake and have happily been single for a good minute and I am learning a lot because of it.

Screenshot 2017-09-14 22.30.00

Stop being that friend, if its you and if its not put that ass on do not disturb and relax.

-If no one has told you they love you today, know that I do! 

Your Truth – Live In It – Cookie Does

Don’t be what they want you to be…

I am so behind on so many shows that Hulu has become my best friend. So as I am binge watching Empire, I see something that brings attention to something. I am always speaking on being you and living in your truth yet I am scared to truly be me.

There is one thing about Cookie Lyons character that I love, she is true to herself, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks about her. She knows her stuff and she is not ashamed to tell someone when their shit is stank.

For example I was watching the episode where Cookie was on a date with the guy that was running for major. Her assistant told her the place was like a nightclub, but it was indeed an opera house. Cookie was killing it though in a short red dress, despite all the side eyes from the other women in full gowns.

As women sometimes do, which I don’t understand, they tried to make her look bad in front of her date asking her questions that they thought she wouldn’t understand, but he stood his ground and stood up for her. Here was the part that I was screaming for joy on – Cookie was in the stall and the two women from earlier were talking about how she was ghetto and out of place. She came out that stall and was herself as she checked them. Let them know she may be a little ghetto but she was about her money and wasn’t kissing they fake bougie asses.

Screenshot 2017-07-26 12.34.37I bring that up because so many of us are miserable because we are putting up a false face everyday. We strive so hard to please people who could care less about us, why? Why try to conform to a box of what society tells you is acceptable? From your weight, your hairstyles, the latest fashions, whats beautiful, and your sexual orientation.

Be who you are and be true to yourself. No matter what you do in life someone is going to talk about you. Nine times out of ten if they are talking about you its because they are jealous that you are being happy while they are still putting on a mask every morning. Those who truly love you, will love you no matter what. There should be no conditions on friendship or relationships. Love doesn’t come with that.

So be free! Be happy! Love yourself…. and most importantly, be true to yourself.

Suicide – Dont ignore it, it won’t go away

RIL Chester Bennington – Linkin Park lead singer was found dead this morning of an apparent suicide.

Suicide is a topic that many still don’t want to talk about. People who speak up about feeling this way are hushed and told to “pray about it” or pushed away as if they are only asking for attention. YES THEY WANT ATTENTION!!! Why is that so bad? They want attention because they need someone to explain to them that life will get better, that their life is worth living.

By ignoring this issue, the numbers are climbing by children at younger ages. Why is this? Why is suicide talked so bad about and ignored? It causes those who need the help for it to suffer alone.

As someone who has had suicide attempts and ideations, its hard when you feel like you are losing your fight and all someone says is ‘suicide is selfish’, ‘think of who else you’d be hurting’, how do you know that they are not the ones hurting them? Many times if someone is talking about suicide all they think about is how life would be better for people in their lives.

You can’t overlook symptoms because you don’t want someone to be mad at you. I was mad at my best friends when I was 14 because I wanted to die. I called to say goodbye and they called my mother. Although I was mad at them then, I thank them as much as I can. I wouldn’t be here without them, and thats how a friendship should be.

Now on the other end if you ever feel like you should end it, talk to someone. If you have no one to talk to call or text the suicide hotline. I usually do my writing, or watch a happy movie or listen to music with an upbeat. Know that no matter what you have done in life, you can change and life can and will get better. Being happy sometimes takes accepting your life and taking responsibility for your life and what happens to you.

We cannot get through life alone. If you see someone who shows the signs talk to them or get them help. Don’t ignore the signs.

***If you or anyone you know are going through something and you feel like you are losing hope please get help. You can call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 its 24/7 or if you don’t feel like talking you can text the crisis hotline. Just text the word CONNECT to 741741. There are ways you can get help… If you need more information you can always email me at tiffanymarnold14@gmail.com. **** 

What Do You REALLY Expect?

Be honest when you get in a relationship what do you want? Many will answer this and say someone with their life together, a good job, their own place and a vehicle of some kind. Now that’s all good, but what about the person? What do you expect from the person for you to remain happy with that person? Not the normal, communicates with me, makes me laugh, faithful and honest. But what about the deeper things that you need to feel secure in your relationship?
Many people don’t think about this until they are stuck in a relationship that isn’t working. Maybe your girlfriend is too flirty and you can’t take that, or maybe your boyfriend is a little too friendly online. What is it that is dire in a relationship that you wouldn’t think to question until its too late?
For me its security, I need to know that not only will I be physically be safe with you, but I need to know that emotionally I will be safe with you. I do not like to be made into a fool by other people. I like for our problems to be our problems. Don’t get me wrong, I have my people I vent to (all close friends that know how I am and gives me honest views without judging) and I expect the person I am with to have the same. But I mean social media shouldn’t know our problems, ex-girlfriends shouldn’t have the opportunity to comment on our issues via Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
I also need to be given attention and affection. I am a very affectionate person. I know that everyone else is not as affectionate as I am, but I expect to be shown how much I am appreciated through a kiss, a passionate touch or even a sexy glance. I am lucky to 
What about you? What do you appreciate or disagree with in a relationship? These are the things that you should inquire about when you are in the dating stages. That way you know that you will be fulfilled in all aspects of your relationship. There is nothing worse than someone who has a good man/good woman but drags them hell because they are not completely happy.

Just note every bad relationship teaches you a little more about what you want from a relationship AND helps you to appreciate the one when it comes along.