Category Archives: Being great

Being Authentic and Not Perfect

Yesterday my word was authentic, I kept hearing this word all day. I knew it was because I have been struggling with my writings. Not really a writers block, as I wrote on LoveTichelle.com but there was sooo many things I wanted to talk about and no way to get my thoughts together.

 

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Photo by Elijah O’Donell on Unsplash

See, I am a perfectionist, but only about certain things, and especially about my writing. As an activist and advocate for all, I feel so stuck sometimes. Here lately there has been more things than I can keep up with that need discussing. There seems to be more issues than good news, more negative than positive and as someone on a spiritual journey I try to stay as far as I can from so much negativity.

There’s been over 200 school shootings this year alone, with the most recent in Texas and Georgia. Unnecessary 911 callings have been on a rise, with the old Jim Crow laws as the reasonings behind the calls in the first place. Like the Air BNB neighbor saying that the black women didn’t wave to her… Ummm did you speak? Why did they have to?

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Photo by Spenser on Unsplash

Police brutality and killings are back on the rise, with age, race and sex not being a determining factor, although black women have been a lot of the victims. The worst was a 65 year old Grandmother. I was more than angry as the video played on my FB feed. I refused share, because I respect my mother and grandmother too much and it only angered me.

45, yals President (I am still NOT claiming him), is still at war with the FBI, the CIA, the media, and anyone who’s truth is different from his. His whole administration I feel lives on a different planet than the rest of us. I promise this 4 years needs to hurry pass. I do NOT want to see this man do another 4 years. If he is reelected I am planning my departure from this country because I am afraid of whats next.

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Photo by Henry Be on Unsplash

Seriously, between him and Fox News they have people confused on what racism is, confused on what privileged is, and confused on what is wrong. Its seems like now a days standing up for yourself is being racist, especially black people. Its gotten to the point where my daughter is getting accused by friends parents for being racist for being proud of her brown skin.

When did Melanin become such a problem? When did being different and standing out and up for what you believe in become an issue? Its like we are becoming robots and marching to the beat of everyone else drums but our own. This world is losing its authenticity, and shutting out those who are less than perfect.

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Photo by Steve Harvey on Unsplash

But what is perfection? Cause I don’t have it and no one else I know does either. Those who say they do, are liars, which makes them imperfect as well. There is NOTHING wrong with being proud of who you are, no matter what race, gender, sexual orientation you are. Be proud to be you, cause no one else can be a better you than you. But being proud has nothing to do with talking down on anyone else.

Being in touch also means accepting the privileges that you have. I am a black, and I am a woman, but I have been privileged with knowledge, with family who lives long because I have my mother, my grandmother and I knew my great grandmother before she passed. I have pictures and history, mostly lies, but I am uncovering the truth of who and where my family came from.

There should be nothing greater than authenticity, because without, there is nothing but lies. And not the lies that 45 claims to be “fake news”, but the lies that make you feel like you are inferior to anyone. That anyone can tell you who and how to be. Being true to you is imperative, because if you are true to you, then how will you make your mark on the world.

Be authentic, be you!

unsplash-logoJon Tyson

 

Just Write and Just Be….

Yesterday I was in Barnes & Nobles and I was searching the magazine aisle as I do normally and I came across this guy and his wife. He was saying he wanted to be a writer and I thought about the advice I received, so be one! We talked for a good twenty minutes before him and his wife had to go, but I got so many ideas from his conversation and I hope I gave him enough encouragement to get those books out. He has soo many fresh ideas, that I believe would be a great face for his ministry.

“Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.”

 – E.L. Doctrow

Screenshot 2018-03-07 21.41.53But I thought about it, so many times we have amazing ideas, and we don’t do it because we think things have to be done a certain way, or like everyone else has done. I look at Chance the Rapper and I know thats not true. Here is a guy who loves hip hop and made it, several awards and he has NEVER been signed. He did it the way he chose to and not the way everyone has and he also has reached back and helped others.

I am a writer, I have been writing a little over 10 years now and I never asked others how they did it. Its like half the time people act like its a secret to the success of it, but its nothing more than sitting in front of my computer daily and typing words, even when they don’t make any sense.

pexels-photo-279470.jpegSo I say to all those out there with a dream to do something, DO IT! Write that book, direct that film, run that marathon… you can do anything and as so many greats have said the greatest things are on the other side of fear. So why let an emotion or the unknown block you. Because why should we all be one paycheck away from homelessness with a job we hate when we can create what jobs we want and reach back and give a hand to someone and lift them up along the way. Imagine if we all had the job we wanted and we were all happy. Imagine a world with no chaos. I dream of it…. I think it can happen.

So… one of the things I have been thinking of starting is Feminist Friday! I saw Ellevest do it on Linkedin and I thought it was a wonderful idea, except theres is Feminist Financial Friday and I want mine to be a little more relatable. Mr John Smith Jr, no lie he had the most common name ever, a pastor at Mt Zion Baptist Church, was telling me about his cousin a fashion designer and she will be my very first Feminist Friday. I would like to encourage women by the struggles and accomplishments of others and her story is unlike so many but yet sooo immensely encouraging.

So stay tuned… I have a Friday theme!!!

If no one has told you – I love you! 

Be Your Authentic Self

via Say Something

This post above is the most honest blog of a writers mind. We use our platforms to speak about what we feel in our hearts and the passions that we have. We may not speak on every issue that goes on today, or every topic that someone asks of us, although, I must say I take them into consideration.

But writing is a passionate way for me to use my voice. I dedicate my voice to the encouragement of others, the empowerment of all, and unity to make a better place for generations to come. I speak about those things that bother me, those that excite me.

I have to say a good book, a great movie, a short film or documentary can definitely get my wheels turning, but today nonalcoholicstudent.wordpress.com did that for me. Check out this blog, because anyone going through college without a drink is a hero for sure!!!!

If no one has told you they love you, then always remember I do ~ Tiffany

Review: Jessica Williams

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The Incredible Jessica James

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So the other day I was feeling a little discouraged, writing is my thing, you know. So I scanned Netflix and the beautiful Jessica Williams’s movie came up. I really thought it was a television series at first, actually I was kind of hoping it was. 

Jessica James’s character is a special woman who is completely living in her truth. Her dream is to be a famous play writer but pays her bills teaching play writing to kids at a non-profit. In the beginning of the movie she is sort of obsessed with the ex-boyfriend who moved on. So a friend introduced her to a blind date, a white guy who is the complete opposites of her. Both of them, after realizing they had nothing in common decided to do a night of honesty. The date ended with them going back to his place, where they did everything but have sex.

Jessica James: What?

Boone: I really like you.

Jessica James: Of course you do.

Jessica James: Everyone does

Jessica James: I’m freaking dope.

Along the way, you went through her daily life of what she did. I absolutely loved that she was not afraid to speak whatever was on her mind, no matter what the situation. Her passion for writing transferred to her passion for teaching. She really pushed and put her all into teaching those kids to reach their full potential.

For example there was a writers retreat which was really important to her because a famous play writer was going to be there. She took the time to introduce herself and ask a real question about how to get in the business. She was shocked to find that play writers don’t make that much, that as she was, she was living the dream.

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This movie to me screamed motivation, persistence and learning to follow the dream no matter what. She was clear with what she wanted in life and regardless of what anyone said she continued to pursue her dreams. Her family was a little unsure of what she was doing, but that was because she didn’t share her dream with everyone. She got her degree, moved to New York and did what she had to do, and all with a cork board full of rejection letters.

That was until she got her first acceptance letter! They wanted her work and her to come to London and read one of her pieces. The guy who was her blind date ended up being a really nice guy, they never really established a relationship but he helped her, her best friend and a student get to London. He ended up being a good friend and she was on her way.

I have to say I was a little disappointed at the end that it was over, but I again motivated to finish doing what I was meant to do. Jessica didn’t settle and change her writing to what others were doing. She never watered herself down to be what others wanted to her to be. She wrote for herself and believed in what she wrote. She motivated me to write, help others and tell my story. So here I am.. Thanks Jessica Williams… I am truly a new fan!

Jay Z, Jay Z, Jay Z… Boy You Still Got It!

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So after debating in my head since the debut of 4:44 whether I was going to redo my membership for Tidal, Facebook made me aware that Jay had snuck his new album to iTunes this morning. Best part was, my Apple Music Membership covered it! 

Let me tell you, I have been a Jay-Z fan since I was pregnant with my youngest daughter Screenshot 2017-07-07 20.33.16in 2001 and even before. So my review is probably biased. Not really, cause if Jay would’ve come out with something whack I would’ve called him out.

But this man doesn’t know what whack is, unless you are him describing how he almost pulled a Eric Benet and lost his woman. Now that was indeed whack.

See most people only hear that he admits to all the things that Lemonade was talking about, but they missed the greatness of his album just as they missed the best parts of Beyonce’s albums.

He starts with Kill JayZ spitting on how theres no healing what you hide. He spoke on every rumor and every bad thing he ever did, how he couldn’t take it if he wound up like Future watching another man play ball with his son.

But that wasn’t the best part of the album and if thats all you heard, then you need to listen until you hear the rest. JayZ spoke up on how it doesn’t matter how rich you are, what complexion you are that we are still niggas in their eyes. He talked about how OJ said he wasn’t black he was OJ and how quick they brought him back to reality.

How our so called leaders are dealing with crap like Bill Cosby being held on charges instead of them saying NBC wasn’t for sale. Look at Al Sharpton on IG taking selfies in the mirror, what is he fighting? He’s given up. (Of course you have to look up what Al Sharpton had to say in return.. all I can do is roll my eyes. He always has so much to say but still saying nothing, but thats a different story.)

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My jam is Family Feud, because in this song he speaks about how nobody wins if the family is feuding. He’s not speaking about his family, he’s speaking on our Black family and how we are at each others throats, drinking alcohol that we know is not ours.

He also spoke on how all these “new” rappers/niggas is starting to sound alike, taking pics on IG with money and guns that don’t belong to them. Hanging with chicks who look the same or are the same. How now we in the game of telling on ourselves and it really don’t be about nothing.

He talked about having credit is better than balling out, how you need to put money away for your family and invest in black owned businesses and stop working for everyone else. Like honestly, why are yal still signing record deals like you haven’t seen what they do to people. Stop making other peoples pockets fatter while all along you hungry.

He also spoke on deeper issues about him growing up with a mother who was living a life where she was hiding who she was. How you should your life to make you happy, no matter who doesn’t like it. He even called out the jewelers on how they are robbing people and don’t care even if its blood money, long as its money.

He wrapped it up with a song called Legacy and a shot out to his roots Marcy Me.

JayZ is back yal! He’s a grown man and is ready to face his responsibilities like a man and make his woman happy. He sees his flaws and his imperfections and hopefully will learn from them. Because as he said no loss is a loss its a lesson and appreciate the pain because its a blessing.

Lets hope this album will be the turning point that will allow him to keep that superhero mask on for his babies. Good Job Jay!!! This is now on my favs list. Whats your favorite JayZ album?

Review Time but with a twist!

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Black Privilege – Charlamagne Tha God

I know I normally do reviews on movies or tv shows, but while driving down the back highways from Arkansas to Mississippi I decided to go to Audible and listen to a book that keeps crossing my eyes. Charlamagne’s Black Privilege. His subtitle was Opportunity Comes To Those Who Create It.

I have to admit with Charlamagne’s rep for having a smart mouth and always speaking the truth I had to see what he had to say. I mean usually when you see Privilege, Black is not what you see in front of it. The title helped but honestly it was all about him. I would of bought it even if it had the original title “I don’t give a fuck and neither should you.” I mean come on it’s Charlamagne. The one radio host who doesn’t give a fuck what he asksScreenshot 2017-05-29 11.13.48 any artist. If its something in the media, he will address it. If he thinks your album is whack, no matter who you are, he will tell you. He has no problem speaking his mind and going after what he wants and I needed his words to interrupt my mind. To tell me the magic that made him who he is.

To my disappointment, there was no magic, but there was more than that, there was words that pushed me to do more, to stop doubting myself and become a better me. Live in your truth, thats his words but I have to admit the phrase that stood out to me was not even his own.

“You gotta put the weed in the bag” This quote was from Belly and he explained that its because most people know where they want to be and always dream of where they should be but don’t put the footwork in getting the job done. You gotta put the weed in the bag first and sell it before you make that money = you gotta put in the work to achieve greatness. Stop dreaming and start working. What did I hear? Start writing!!!

Charlamagnes story was dope. He explains the same thing I have always believed that making it doesn’t always put money in your pocket at first. You can’t be afraid to take that unpaid internship, or take a pay cut if it gets you closer to your dream. Money will come if you follow the steps that are meant for you. Don’t listen to the bullshit from others who tell you that you should chase the money. Naw, chase the dream!

Now I have to admit if you don’t like fowl language or if crude analogies make you squeamish or block the messages you hear, then don’t read it. Because he says whatever he has to say to get you to understand including telling you how you were once a sperm who beat the odds to fertilize the egg, you made it, don’t let that be your only shining moment. He addresses everything and points fingers where they need to go. He tells you to blame yourself for not making it and stop blaming others and situations for your failure.

This book, or audio book in this case, is worth the read. I listened to most of it the entire trip and was so into it that I was irritated when someone (mainly kids) called me from the backseat. This book made me wake up and realize that I have the same 168 hours a week as every one else. As Charlamagne pointed out he is up by 4:30 am and has done more work by 10 am that many have done all week. We can work a full-time job, do an internship and take care of ourselves and our families and MAKE IT!

I recommend this book to anyone trying to find themselves, redefine themselves or trying to go after your dreams. If you need a dose of tough love and not a sugar coating book like most self-help books then this one is for you. I hope that he continues to grow and writes more books, yes, he is a radio personality but I think this makes me want to listen more and follow him. His opinion is necessary, his words are necessary, his push is necessary.

Keep it up Charlamagne, you have a true new fan here!

Mistakes Lead to Greatness

“A person who never made mistakes, never tried anything new.” ~ Albert Einstein 
Someone is always judging you no matter what you do in life. Part of being great is taking risks. How will you know if something will work if you don’t make a few mistakes along the way? Do you know how many tries it took to get the right ingredients for a light bulb? It took Thomas Edison 3,000 attempts to invent the lightbulb. 3,000 attempts!!! I’m sure someone along the way told him to give up, or told him that he needed to do something different. Where would we be if he would’ve listened? In the dark! 
My point is giving up should never be an option, no matter what people say. You have to follow your heart and do what you feel to do. Otherwise you will always wonder what if and resent the ones around you who discouraged you from doing what you felt. 
Whose to say your dreams may encourage someone else. Maybe your mistakes will turn out to be something great. Did you know that potato chips, x-Ray images, plastic, matches and coca-cola (to name a few) were mistakes. Each of the inventors were trying to create something different but came up with something else great. 
So don’t fret when someone talks down on you. Let them talk, cause if they’re talking you must be doing something right. Besides think about it, if they are so busy talking about you they can’t follow their own dreams, which leaves more room for you. Also the same people talking down on you, will be the same ones with their hand out or looking for recognition when you succeed. Ignore them because misery loves company. 
               ~ Love Tichelle 💋