A girl straight out of high school, who doesn’t know what she wants to do in life, takes a year to be her, to figure life out. Sounds like a normal story that would be absolutely boring and bland, yet here I sit staring at a tv screen eyes full of tears.

This is not how something is supposed to end. I have so many questions. I watched the show initially because I kept seeing it come up on my suggested videos, and Britt Robertson who plays on For The People and Girl Boss is the main character. I’m a fan and now, an even bigger one.

Britt makes you fall in love for Katie’s character. She makes you feel sorry for her and connect with her. You can see yourself as her. 28 years ago I was her, except I didn’t take a year, I went to college and screwed it up. But its not the story that has me in tears.

Katie during the movie has several jobs, an overbearing mother with a boyfriend who is super nosey. She has a father who is an alcoholic and she is a cheater. Unbeknownst to her parents she is having sex and lot of it, and on top of that she has a blog where she tells every detail but changes names and details. She ends up with an amazing following, 14,000 visits and messages from people who have no idea who she is.

I didn’t judge her, no part of her life did I judge because at one point in my life, I was her. Partying and sleeping with people with no commitment, or false promises of one. I also dated a man who I later found out was married. So I didn’t judge her, I felt like I was her. In my previous life, I was Katie.

She had no real friends, no one who really had her back. Her birthday came around and no one was there for her to celebrate with. Her therapist was clearly not listening to her, this girl had a problem with sex. A problem with sex that stemmed from the abuse she endured as a child. But the therapist, that she only saw twice, said she wasn’t clinically depressed. Let me just say as someone who sees a therapist regularly, I wanted to slap her.

But its the surprise ending. I write surprise endings, I make you think outside the box and this – this is the emotion I want from people when they read my novels, when they see my movies.

I sit here, afraid to go to sleep because what kind of dream do you have after a movie like that, after the blog I wrote, after the list of things I have heard today? I am stuck. Stuck in that I need to go to bed because its 2 am and stuck between I need to watch something else to clear my mind.

See I originally chose the movie because I thought I could write while the movie was playing or I would get tired and fall asleep, but I watched every moment. My keyboard was still clicking, but nothing creative. It was all matter of fact, all – I am lost.

I won’t ruin the movie for you but watch it. The director Allison Burnett did an amazing job and I believe I feel exactly how they projected.

This trailer does nothing for the movie, its much darker, and not as shallow as this shows.