You Can’t Force Love… Don’t Settle Just Because its There.

So today I read in a group I’m in about a girl who is in a relationship with this guy who wants to make her settle down, but she’s not ready. What’s crazy is a lot of the women were commenting that she was stupid for not settling down with him. I think it crazy that these women think that she should because he’s a good guy. My question is how do they know? Because he is ready to get married? Because he wants to do what many men in this generation do not want to do?

I disagree!!! What this man is doing is trying to change and force her. You cannot force someone to be with you. I think I need to say that again. YOU CANNOT FORCE SOMEONE TO BE WITH YOU!!! In the end if that person will regret you and everything that comes with your relationship. What happens if you all have children? That person you forced to be with you will regret the children. There are too many loveless homes that many children are growing up in, why add another one?

It almost like many women are programmed to think that marriage and children are the only thing that we should aspire to have. Why? What are we in 1950? That was all women back in the day could aspire to have, unless they were a teacher, beautician or maid. Nowadays we can be anything that we want to be – lawyers, doctors, CEOs and any thing else we can imagine. Why settle for being just someones wife and mother.

Now I am not saying that there is anything wrong with being a housewife, but ONLY if thats what you WANT to do. You have to live your life for you and not want anyone else wants you to be. If you live your life to make others around you happy, you will NEVER and I repeat NEVER be happy.

I know of an elder lady who lived her whole life for what her family said she should do. She grew up, got married and had children. She lived her entire life making her husband and children happy. When all the children grew up and left home and her husband left her for a younger woman, she realized she had nothing. The worse part of it was she never wanted any of it. She was always attracted to women, but she knew that if she ever came out her family would disown her. There she was a senior citizen looking over her life and she was miserable. She never had a job so she had no skills and no degree. She had to start all over.

Why do that to yourself? Why not live everyday doing things that please you. If something doesn’t make you happy, change it. Whether it’s a job, relationship or living situation. Think about what steps you need to take to be happy and work towards that. You are never to late to start. That lady was well into her 50s and she opened up a restaurant, found her a girlfriend and to this day she is very happy. Everyone in her family and some old friends is not happy with her new life, a few have even cut her off, but she is happy. She wakes up with a smile on her face and goes to bed the same way.

What will make you happy? Why are you not going after it? Don’t ever settle for anything that is not the best for you no matter who says you are stupid for not settling. ~ Love Tichelle

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